(Woah! Oh man, I'm all wet, man! Look at this place! Over here! Over here! I wanna go! Oh my... No way I'm goin' in there! I don't get it, just open it! Let's go in! C'mon! Okay, okay, okay... WOAH! Look at this place, man, it's cool! How'd ya like that they... It's like a haunted house! Hey! Where ya goin'? Uh-oh...)Mwahahahahaha! Welcome, boys... Come right in.(screaming)Please come in, you're welcome hereMind the cobwebs and the bonesMay we invite you to spend the night?Make yourself at homeStep this way, here's the living room(Though dead room is more correct)'Cause there hasn't been a living soul hereSince grandpa broke his neckIn our haunted houseWe'll treat you like one of usBut in our haunted houseThat could be hazardousBrowse around the kitchen,Have a spoon or a knife (?)You must excuse those ketchup stains...We ate someone last nightHere is your big bedroom, dears(You'll love the creaky bed!)You'll sleep just fine, but when you wakeYou still may feel half deadIn our haunted houseThe mother is a ghostThe upstairs maid's been buried for yearsAnd the chauffeur's comatose!In our haunted houseOur hospitality is something of which we're very proud(Oh! Do you take poison in your tea?)Don't let the spider webs mess up your hairDon't mind the piano playing with no one thereThe crumbling bookshelves covered with dustOne or two headless bodies, what's all the fuss?The dreadful pounding, the screams and moansIt's just a typical night at home...(In our haunted house! Things come through the walls!You might see sights that chill the soul! Be sure to wear a shawl!)(We'd love you! Do come in! Stay a while and play...)(Once you finally settle in, you'll never go away!)(We'll make sure of that...)(evil laughter)In our haunted house(screams)In our haunted houseIn our haunted house...In our haunted house...In our haunted house...Our haunted house...In our haunted house...(fades out)
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