I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks
Bloodhound Gang

If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter

My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class

Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass

I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too

Want to see how many push-ups I can do?

I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Chicks dig guys that are

Queer guys that don't dig

Chicks that don't dig guys like me

See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be

Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo

Phony

Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity

But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry

Scoring with a super model would be easy

'Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonymous with

'Super dumb'

Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon

I'd become

That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair

No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear

I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Chicks dig guys that are

Queer guys that don't dig

Chicks that don't dig guys like me

See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes

The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy

Dean

See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline

No I'm not Princess Di and I don't want to be a queen

I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis

Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he

Talks like this

And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway

And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet

I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Chicks dig guys that are

Queer guys that don't dig

Chicks dig guys that are

Queer guys that don't dig

Chicks dig guys that are

Queer guys that don't dig

Chicks that don't dig guys like me

See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

And I don't shave my heiny

Don't shave my heiny

See I'm not queer I'm too ugly


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Lyrics by Bloodhound Gang

  10 Coolest Things About New Jersey   A Lap Dance Is So Much Better   A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is...   A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is...   Along Comes Mary   Altogether Ooky   American Bitches   Asleep At The Wheel   B.H.G.P.S.A.   Ballad of Chasey Lain   Balls Out   Boom   Bumblebees   Cheese Tidbit   Chew Toy   Chew Toy 7"   Clean Up In Aisle Sexy   Coo Coo Ca Choo   David Song   Diarrhea Runs in the Family   Diary Of A Stranger   Dimes   Discovery Channel   Earlameyer The Butt Pirate   Farting With A Walkman On   Fire Water Burn   Fire Water Burn (the Roof Is On Fire)   Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo   Go Down   Going Nowhere Slow   Hell Yeah   I Hope You Die   I'm The Least You Could Do   Inevitable Return of the Great White Dope   It's Tricky   Its Tricky   Jackass   Just Lose It   K.I.D.S. Incorporated   Kids In America   Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny   Legend In My Spare Time   Lift Your Head Up High   Lift Your Head Up High (and Blow Your Brains Out)   Live at the Apollo   Magna Cum Nada   Mam Say   Mama Say   Mama's Boy   Mope   My Dad Says That's for Pussies   My Dad Says That’s For Pussies   Neighbor Inuasion   Neighbor Invasion   Nightmare At The Apollo   No Hard Feelings   No Rest For The Wicked   Nowhere Slow   One Way   Overheard in a Wawa Parking Lot   Pacman On Crack   Pennsylvania   R.S.V.P.   Ralph Wiggum   Rang Dang   Record Offer   Reflections of Remoh   Right Turn Clyde   Right Turn Klyde   Rip Taylor Is God   Rsvp   Screwing You On the Beach at Night   She Ain't Got No Legs   Shitty Record Offer   Shut Up   Socially Awkward Penguin   Something Diabolical   Strictly for the Tardcore   Take The Long Way Home   That Cough Came With a Prize   The 10 Coolest Things About New Jersey   The Bad Touch   The Ballad Of Chasey Lain   The Ballad of Chasey Lain [The Cousin Mike Video]   The Choice Is Yours   The Cough That Came With A Prize   The Inevitable Return Of The Great White Dope   The Roof is on Fire   The Ten Coolest Things About New Jersey   The Vagina Song   Think Outside the Box   This Is Stupid   Three Point One Four   Turn Clyde   Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss   Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss [Album Version]   Uncool As Me (feat. Joey Fatone)   Unh Tiss Unh Tiss   Unh Tiss Unh Tiss Unh Tiss   We Are The Knuckleheads   We Like Meat   We’re Gonna Bring The Party To You   Why Is Everybody Always Pickin' On Me?   Why's Everybody Always Pickin' On Me   Why's Everybody Always Pickin' On Me?   Yellow Fever   You Are Pretty When I'm Drunk   You're Pretty When I Am Drunk   You're Pretty When I'm Drunk   Your Only Friends Are Make Believe   Your Only Friends Are Make You Believe   Yummie Down On This   Yummy Down On This

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