I Know My Name
Jandek

Take this big picture away
I want to be with the little things
Pain and suffering anguish is my name
just call me anything
but I know my name
I came to deliver a what you want
This pain and anguish
I sat at your door
Hello my darling, why don't you let me in?
Thank you, thank you
I know you'll love me
And I love, I learned to love you
because I had no choice.
You got me in mold
and you, I got no choice
and I don't want one
because I choose you
and that's my choice
because you love me
Pain, dark and misery
I want to be with little things
please take this big picture away from me
Take it back from where it came
Let it crawl on the floor and find those little things
Like a ray of sunshine at the end of the day
and good night all of you folks
I'm off to a dream where it dances and plays
and sways.
The change of those little things
You thought you saw it bright and hard
You steeled it down cast your eyes about
I done conquered this thing
what's next on the list
Come on you big things
and establish a jungle all around your site
Nothing can really bind you
You'll kill it first
I love you my darling
You know my name
You don't want to get away
you got where you're going
It's the step into space
You know you can't refuse
There is no doubt
and it sparkles like light
bouncing off the silver metal on the table
in the big picture with red and blue and green and black
I'm back at this table
and I'm gambling with you
But you're not even here
I lose if I don't win
and I always liked losing because
sometimes later you get to beat yourself again
say Hi, how'd you do self Yeah I remember you
we went through many places
If we went or didn't go
You win
I always lose because I love to lose
Someone's got to be on the other side of a got to win
Maybe we're left and right
I got to losin if you don't make me lose
then you're the same as me
you got to lose and
hey we can lose together
Let's lose everything and go away
we'll be real lost
and if that's your thing
You lost and so did I
We lost together
Now we're both more lost yeah
I'm so lost you can't find me
There's no other souls in this epiphany
So I'm gambling your fictitious
Mr. Gambling
Please meet Mrs. Fictitious
We'll curse the world yeah...
curse you world
You brought me so low today I'm happy to curse you world
Get the hints from me
and don't put me in no black suit
I ain't building no barns
You can keep your animals
But put me dark and evil
and I forget about you
the bad things got me when I went their way
And all I screech from so within
that you can't hear me
And I so like my pain and forget about everything
the universe is gone
It's stopped the time and I escape into the little world
where there's nothing else
I have no responsibilities
It's just money and things
and I hate most of the day
But when the sun goes down
I get a life
The afterglow of the day
I got enough pain without my body
I throw my body away and make it a slave to me
I got a body for a slave
It do what I want
it doesn't think
It so don't feel like you're lost now
because I found you
and I put you up on my thumbs
our eyes are dancing in the late day sun
and you are getting aggressive
and you know me
I'm dead
Take this big picture away
I want to be with the little things
Pain and suffering anguish is my name
Just call me anything
but I know my name
I came to deliver what you want
This pain and anguish
I sat at your door
Hello darling, won't you let me in
thank you thank you I know you love me
and I love
I learned to love you
because I had no choice
You got me involved in you
I got no choice
and I don't want one
Because I choose you
and that's my choice
because you love me
Pain dark and misery
Down down down down down
I won't stop going down
and wherever you are
you got to know I'm here
down at the bottom
I'm here so if you visit me
you've got to be down at the bottom too
What you doing here?
This is my place
Why did you disturb me?
I'm lying so low
I don't want you to find me now
What do I do?
I feel so naked
But you still got your clothes on
You got me stripped to my skin
I've never felt so apparent
Like a mirror you see
I can't get away from this world
At least once every three million years
But I'm here now, take advantage me now
If you don't I'll be away so fast
I'm gone on my last dream
I'm
I'm conscious right now
saying thank you for blackness and the gone gone world
It was the Frenchman and the Indian they said
Hello, how are you, I give you my world
Let's play the sand and water and forest
We welcome you here, take my daughter
and marry her
The seed was planted that got me into this world
I use electricity just like you do
But the treatment has got me fast falling into you
I'm so happy to fall
I hope I never rise
What's going down is my joyful ride
and I've been walking for decades
Pain is such a relief and I'm feeling better now
that I'm hurt so bad
Just leave me alone for a thousand years
I'll make myself whole
but I'll take my time
You had your enjoyment
now I'll have mine
I feel happy without you
The pain is just fine
Because I found someone who loved that pain
and I gave it to her
Now she's infected with the pain
that goes round
And when you share it
thank god for this pain
I thank God for my stupidity which brings me pain
I love my pain
It gives me my name
But the light that still flickers
is still there when you're gone
I flicker in that light


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Lyrics by Jandek

  About Today   Ace Of Diamonds   Aimless Breeze   Alehouse Blues   Alexandria Knows   All In An Apple Orchard   Alone On That Mountain   Ambient Instrument   Angel   Angel Moves   Answer   Anticipation   Anticipation   Away   Away   Babe I Love You   Babe I Love You   Ballad Of Robert   Ballad Of Robert   Be Going Down   Bedside   Bells And Voices   Birthday   Bitter Tale   Blind Cat   Blood And Bone   Bludgeon   Bludgeon   Blue Blister   Blue Blue World   Blues Turned Black   Branded On A Telephone   Breast In A Moonbeam   Breathtaker   Bring It Back To Seventy-Five   Bring It In A Manger   Bring It In A Manger   Bring On Fatima   C F   Call You The Sun   Can I See Your Clock   Caper   Carnival Queen   Cat That Walked From Shelbyville   Cave In On You   Cellar   Centaur Train   Chilocothe   Close To You   Closing   Clothes   Collection   Come Over Here   Come Through With A Smile   Come Through With A Smile   Comedy   Corner Of The Street   Could Be Anyone   Couldn't Be A Reader   Crack A Smile   Crazy   Crime Pays   Customary   Dance Of Death   Darkness You Give   Delinquent Words   Desert Voice   Didn't Ask Why   Didn't Have To Cry   Didn't Really Die   Do You Want Me   Don't Be So Mean   Don't Get Too Upset   Don't Know If I Care   Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t Want To Be   Don€™t Want To Be   Don’t Want To Be   Down At The Ball Park   Down At The Ball Park   Down Clown   Down Clown   Down In A Mirror   Dozen Drops   Dreaming Man   Dunes   Echo   Elementary Talk   Embrace The World Outside   Embrace The World Outside   Equaled In Life   Equaled In Life   European Jewel   European Jewel (Incomplete Take)   European Jewel 501   European Jewel 613   European Jewel II   Evening Sun   Every Sentence   Ezekiel   Faceless   Falling Down Deep   Faye   Faye   Feathered Drums   Find Me Again   First Awake Moment   First You Think Your Fortune's Lovely   Fishing Blues   Flowers On My Shirt   Flowers On My Shirt   Fly   Fly   For Today   For Today   For You And I   Forgive Me   Four By Four   Frosted Field   Frozen Beauty   Gate Strikes One   Georgia East   Ghost Town By The Sea   Give It The Name   Go To Bed   God Came Between Us   Going Away   Going Away My Darling   Gone Wait   Gone Wait   Governor Rhodes   Governor Rhodes   Green And Yellow   Green Dreams   Gretchen   Ha Ha   Hand For Harry Idle   Hand For Harry Idle   Helena   Hey   Hey Mister Can You Tell Me   Highway   Hilltop Serenade   Honey   House Of The Rising Sun   House Up On The Hill   House Up On The Hill   How Many Places   How Many Places   Humility Of Pain   I Ain't Got None   I Can Not   I Can't Leave A Clue   I Found The Right Change   I Gave My Eternity   I Give You Me   I Had'nt Been There Before   I Just Might Go Now   I Knew About Them   I Knew You Would Leave   I Knew You Would Leave   I Know The Times   I Know You Well   I Love You Now It's True   I May Not Be Around   I Met You   I Need To Be   I Need Your Life   I Never Left You Anyway   I Passed By The Building   I See Lights   I See The Open Door   I Stared   I Stepped Out Of It   I Stepped Out Of It   I Talked To You Today   I Talked To You Today   I Threw You Away   I Threw You Away   I Want To Know Why   I Want To Know Why   I Want To Look In   I Was A King   I Went Outside   I Went To Hell   I Went To Hell   I'll Come Back   I'll Sit Alone And Think A Lot About You   I'm Not That Good   I'm Ready   If Your Fortune Fails You   In The Cave   Interlude   It Rang Eleven Times   It Seems Forever   It Would Only Be Action   It's Febuary   It's Only You   It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Forever   It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Your House   It€™s Forever   It€™s Your House   It’s Forever   It’s Your House   Jackson's Gone Down The Mississippi   Janitor   Janitor's Dead   Janky   Jessica   John Came   John Plays Drums   Just Die   Just Like The Floor   Just Whisper   Kick   Killer Cats In The Carribbean   Know Thy Self   Lake Lagoon   Lake Lagoon   Leave All You Have   Leave All You Have   Left The Beach Last Sunday   Let Me Hear The Words You Say   Letter   License To Kill   Liquids Flow To The Sea   Living End   Lofty Rider   Lonesome Bridge   Lonesome Company   Long Long   Long Long   Long Way   Look At It   Lost Cause   Love, Love   May 3   May 3   May 7, 9: 15 A.M.   Message To The Clerk   Message To The Clerk   Message To The Clerk, Pt.1   Message To The Clerk, Pt.2   Michael   Michael   Moon Dance   Morning Drum   Mostly All From You   Mothers Day Card   Moving Slow   Must Have Been A Miracle   My Escape   Naked In The Afternoon   Name I Had   Nancy Sings   Native Land   Needs No Sun   Nepoleon In Russia   Never Never Never   Nevermore   New Rendezvous   New Town   Niagra Blues   Nine-Thirty   No Break   No One Knows Your Name   No Slow Ones   No Time   Not Even Water   Nothing Is Better Than God   Nothing You Lack   Number 14   Number 512   Oh Jenny   Oh No   One Last Chance   One Last Chance   One Minute   One Minute   One Of Those Moments   One Of Those Moments   One The Planes   Only Lover   Only Way You Can Go   Open E   Out In The Rain   Out Of The Cave   Painted My Teeth   Part II   Part Yesterday   Part Yesterday   Pending Doom   Phillip Was Mentioned   Phillip Was Mentioned   Phoenix   Phoenix   Picture   Pieces Of Place   Place   Plenty   Point Judith   Poor Boy   Preacher   Professional   Put It Away   Quinn Boys   Quinn Boys II   Quite Nonchalant   Rain In Madison   Rather Be Blind   Rather Be Blind   Real Afternoons   Real Fine Movement   Real Wild   Real You   Relief Of The Night   Remain The Same   Remind You   Riddles Riddling Me   Riddles Riddling Me   Rifle In The Closet   Rifle In The Closet   River To Madrid   Rooftop Sunset   Sadie   Sadie   Sailors   Sailors   Same Road   Sand I   Sea Of Red   Second End   Second Thoughts   Sense Of Reason   Shadow Of Leaves   Share My Life   Share My Life   She Fell Down   Show Me The Way, O Lord   Show The Man Your Picture   Simple As That   Situations   Situations   Slinky Parade   Slinky Parade   Slow Burn   So Fly, Max   Solid Stone   Some Of Your Peace   Spanish In Me   Spanish In Me 003   Spirit   Spiritual Song   Split To The East   Star Of Zenith   Star Up In The Sky   Starless   Stars Spell Your Name   Steal Away Home   Stick With Me   Sticks in the Marsh   Stopped   Strange Phenomenon   Stumble   Such A Thrill   Sung   Supression   Take It Easy   Take Me Away With You   Take My Will   Talk That Talk   Telegraph Melts   Tell Me When   Tell Me Who You Are   Ten O'Clock Shadows   The First End   The Image Of You   The Other Side   The Times   They Don't Matter At All   They Knew My Game   They Knew My Game   They Told Me About You   They Told Me I Was A Fool   Thing Called Me   Think About Your Lady   Thinking   This Is A Death Dream   Time And Space   Time Will Come   Today   Twelfth Apostle   Twelve Minutes Since February 32'nd   Twenty - Four   Uncle Steve   Unconditional Authority   Until Then   Upon The Grandeur   Van Ness Mission   Variant   Voices In The Dark   Walking   Walking Around   Walking Home   Waltz In Two-Fourths Time   War Dance   Way That You Act   We're All Through   What   What Can I Say, What Can I Sing   What Did I Hear   What Do You Want To Sing   What Else Is There   What Should I Do   What Things Are   What You Are   What You Give Me   When I See You Again   When The Telphone Melts   Where I Stay   Where I Stay   Whiskers   Whiskers   White Box   White Knob   Wild Strawberries   Windy Time   Wondering   Work Of Art   World Stops   Worthless Recluse   Wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t You Agree   Wouldn€™t You Agree   Wouldn’t You Agree   Wrap It Up   Wrong Time   Yellow Pages   Yes You Are   You   You Ancient   You Can Stop Now   You Didn't Lie   You Don't Have To Entertain Me   You Know You Need   You Made Me Know It   You Painted Your Teeth   You Sing A Song   You Standing There   You Think You Know How To Score   You Took Me For A Ride   You Wake Up Deadmen   You Won't Get Up   You're Not Even Alive   You're The Best One   Your Condition   Your Other Man   Your Own Little World   Your Turn   Your Visitor

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