Simon Belmont:
Wow, Wiley, I can't believe you found this game!
Dr. Wiley:
Yep, I sure did
Simon Belmont:
Quick, put it in!
Dr. Wiley:
I want to build the suspense . . .
Simon Belmont:
No, put it in! I can't take it!
Dr. Wiley
I want a soda, I want to go to the bathroom, I want to - okay
Simon Belmont:
No, you're putting it in
Dr. Wiley:
I'm putting it in now. Here we go. And . . . oh, power. There we go
Simon Belmont:
Is it plugged in?
Dr. Wiley:
Yes it's plugged in, I'm a damn evil genius! Sorry. Raa!
Simon Belmont:
Dude, take it out and blow on it
Dr. Wiley:
I . . . here. Hey, you're pretty good at that
Simon Belmont:
That was . . . that was just wrong
Dr. Wiley:
Shut up and give me the game
Simon Belmont:
Put it in. There we go
Dr. Wiley:
That's better. Closer. Warmer
Simon Belmont:
Kind of worked. Just put another game on top, you got another one?
Dr. Wiley:
I think I got Bible Adventures around here somewhere
Simon Belmont:
Oh, that's a piece of shit
Mario:
Hey guys! What's-a going on?
Simon Belmont:
Why are you talking like that?
Mario:
Because I'm Mario, I'm-a Italian. Here, you want-a some salsa?
Simon Belmont:
No! And I'm not answering you if you talk like that
Mario:
Talk-a like what?
Simon Belmont:
Just shut up
Mario:
Sorry guys
Simon Belmont:
You missed the screen!
Mario:
Hey you guys, check it out. Me and Luigi were over at Big Lots, and you know how we have that ten dollar gift certificate that my mom gave me, so you know, we were looking for piping and tubing and this and that, because you know, we've got some jobs to do -
Simon Belmont:
Right there, put it in!
Dr. Wiley:
Son of a whore!
Simon Belmont:
Mario, Mario, shut the fuck up! He's trying to put in the code to Contra
Dr. Wiley:
I got it this time
Mario:
Oh! Nice!
Simon Belmont:
You're slow, you're too -
Dr. Wiley:
Bastard! Son of a goddamned fucking twig from hell!
Simon Belmont:
Do you even remember it? You know you can't beat that game with three men. I don't think you remember it
Dr. Wiley:
I do too remember it! And I can too beat it without the code!
Simon Belmont:
You cannot!
Dr. Wiley:
I . . . recorded it
Simon Belmont:
Oh, did you? Uh-huh. Right after you built Lie Man, or, or Fib Man, or I'm-Full-Of-Shit Man . . .
Dr. Wiley:
Yeah, and then I built Gay Man and I call him Simon Belmont!
Simon Belmont:
I rule, I kill vampires. I don't need to put up with this shit
Dr. Wiley:
Yeah, ok, McLeather Skirts-A-Lot. Why don't you try it?
Simon Belmont:
Uh, I, uh . . .
Dr. Wiley:
Try, try, go give it a try! Go ahead, do it! Do it!
Simon Belmont:
Uh, shit the stove's on!
Dr. Wiley:
Goddamnit!
Mario:
Hey, check it out, I just found a 1987 Nintendo Power!
Dr. Wiley:
Really? Let me see!
Mario:
Ah, here's the code . . . for Duck Hunt.
Dr. Wiley:
Oh
Mario:
Haha, my hoe
Simon Belmont:
What are going to do? This is horrible!
Dr. Wiley:
You know what though, if we ever do figure this out, we're writing a song about it
Simon Belmont:
Sweet!
Mario:
You guys want some salsa?