Prologue
Candlemass

Thing-Fish:


Once upon a time, musta been 'round October, few years back, in one o' dose TOP SECRET LABMO-TORIES de gubbnint keep stashed away underneath Virginia, an EVIL PRINCE, occasion'ly employed as a part-time THEATRICAL CRITICIZER set to woikin' on a plot fo de systematic GENOCIDICAL REMOVE'LANCE of all unwanted highly-rhythmic individj'lls an' sissy-boys!


De cocksucker done whiffed up a secret POTIUM . . . an' right 'long wid it, de ATROCIOUS IDEA dat what he been boilin' up down deahhhh jes' mights be de FINAL SOLUTIUM to DE WHITE MAIN'S 'BOIDENNN', ef yo' acquire my drift . . .


Well, he were sure he had a GOOD THING GOIN' . . . but, dere was always de possobility dat somethin' might fuck up, so, he planned to have a little test, jes' to check it all out befo' he dump't it in de wattuh supply.


Sho'tly denafter, wit HIGH-LEVEL GUBNINT COROBBERATIUM, he arranged to have a good-will visit to SAN QUENTIM, 'long wit some country-westin mu-zishnin's, 'n sprinkle a little bit of it on some of de boys in deahhh (since dey done used a few of 'em befo' when dey was messin' wit de ZYPH'LISS).


So, heah dey come wit de POTIUM, dump'nit all in de mash potatoes!



Den dey wen' up to de warden's office fo' some HOT TODDY, watchin' a little football while dey's waitin' to see what gone happen!


Fact o' de matter were: NOTHIN' HAPPENED, so dey went off'n dribbled it in a special shipnint of GALOOT CO-LOG-NUH dat went out 'bouts NOVEMBER!


Next thing y'know, fagnits be droppin' off like flies . . . 'long wit a large number of severely-tanned individj'lls, pre-zumnably of HAY'CHEN EXTRAKMENT!


But NOT DE BOYS IN DE REST HOME! Oh no! Mixin' de shit wit de mash potatoes done SMOOTHED IT OUT a little, so's it wouldn't KILL yo' ass, BUT, it sho' would make y'ugly! 'N ef y'was already UGLY, it'd make yo ass MEAN 'n UGLY . . . 'n ef you was already MEAN 'n UGLY, it'd turn ya into a strange, UNKNOWN KREETCHUH, never befo' seen on BROADWAY!


Thass right! It'd turn ya' into a 'MAMMY NUN'! Head like a potato . . . lips like a duck . . . big ol' hands, puffin' up! BIG ONES! Science! ME-jev'l re-LIJ-mus costumery all over yo' BODY! Yow! Oh yeah! Mmmm-hmmm!


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Lyrics by Candlemass

  'at The Gallows End'   'bewitched'   'dark Are The Veils Of Death'   'mourner's Lament'   'samarithan'   'the Well Of Souls'   A Tale of Creation   A Cry From The Crypt   A Sorcerer's Pledge   A Sorcerer’s Pledge   A Tale Of Creation   Abstract Sun   Abstrakt Sun   Aftermath   Ancient Dreams   Apathy   Arx   Arx/NG 891   Arx\/NG 891   Assassin Of The Light   At The Gallows End   At The Gallows End (EP)   At the Gallows End [Live]   At the Gallows End [Vocal Session W. Robert Lowe]   Battlecry (demo)   Bearer Of Pain   Bearer of Pain [*]   Bells of Acheron   Bewitched   Black as Time   Black Candles   Black Dwarf   Black Dwarf [Live]   Black Eyes   Black Sabbath Medley   Black Stone Weilder   Black Stone Wielder   Blumma Apt   Born In A Tank   Clearsight   Copernicus   Crystal Ball   Cyclo - F   Cyclo-F   Cylinder [#][Instrumental]   Dancing in the Temple (of the Mad Queen Bee)   Dark Are The Veils Of Death   Dark Reflections   Dark Reflections [Video] [Multimedia Track]   Darkness In Paradise   Dawn   Death Thy Lover   Demon's Gate   Demon’s Gate alt version   Demonia 6   Demons Gate   Destroyer   Devil Seed (EP)   Droid   Dustflow   Dustflow [#]   Ebony Throne   Elephant Star   Epistle No. 81   Galatea   I Still See The Black   If I Ever Die   Incarnation Of Evil   Into The Unfathomed Tower   Into the Unfathomed Tower [DVD]   Julie Laughs No More   Karthago   Lidocain God   Lidocain God   Lidocain God [#]   Lucifer Rising   Mirror Mirror [Live]   Mirror, Mirror   Molotov [Instrumental]   Mourner's Lament   Mourner’s Lament   My Funeral Dreams   Mythos [Instrumental]   Of Stars And Smoke (EP)   Prophet   Psalms for the Dead   Samarithan   Samarithan (EP)   Samarithan [Live]   Seven Silver Keys   Siren Song   Solitude   Solitude (EP)   Solitude [Live]   Solitude [Vocal Session W. Robert Lowe]   Somewhere In Nowhere   Soothe Me Into Oblivion   Spellbreaker   Tears   Temple Of The Dead   The Bells Of Acheron   The Bleeding Baroness   The Day And The Night   The Dying Illusion   The Ebony Throne   The Edge Of Heaven   The End Of Pain   The Killing of the Sun   The Lights Of Thebe   The Man Who Fell from the Sky   The Prophecy   The Sound of Dying Demons   The Well Of Souls   Through The Infinitive Halls Of Death   Tot   Under The Oak   Under The Oak (EP)   Under The Oak alt version   Voices In The Wind   Waterwitch   Where The Runes Still Speak   Witches   Witches [Demo 2003]   Witches [Demo 2003]   Wiz   Zog [Instrumental]

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