[LL Cool J]Yeah..Yeah I like that guitar man, yeahYo E-Love I like the way you flipped that guitar manKnahmsayin? It was a good idea man, knahmsayin? YeahIt's kinda like freakin me, yaknahmsayin?I wanna get hype man, I wanna do this, yaknahmsayin?Just gon' chill, check it outSlick as Vasoline, smell good as cologneI'm like a muscle man in jail -- they leave me aloneI rhyme like Superman, you rap like Jimmy OlsonI break you like a bottle of green Golden MolsonYou ain't a real rhymer, you look like a actressHow you gon' sleep on me holmes, do I look like a mattress?Am I that old, do I walk like Grady?I'ma hundred-fifty proof, Smirnoff is only 80Don't you EVER try to rock my houseI'm a real cool cat, know what I'm sayin Mickey Mouse?The poetry specialist, so take a dose of thisNow think about it -- can you really come close to this?You soft as powder, weak as a cabin coolerUgly as work shoes, messin with the Ruler:the ultimate writer reciter and def entertainerI work myself harder than a boxer's trainerChorus: LL Cool JClap your hands everybody (aiyyo)And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)I said, clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)[LL Cool J]You end up, underneath my sneakerYou're dog doo-doo, I'm watchin you get weakerYou can't believe, the skill and dexterityLL Cool J, and the J is for JeremySo BUFF ME, James Todd the earthquakerThat's right my brother, you're goin out like Sega{*censored*} chewed, so whassup dude?One of my battles'll get your girlies in the moodSucker MC's really make me sickI'm so bad, I can suck my own {dick}If you go to your girl's house and I'm there alreadyDon't go Crazy cause my name ain't EddieRhymes so rough, it's like a course in trigonometryWhen Einstein was talkin, he was talkin bout METhe Prince of the Earth, and I'ma give birthto a rhyme so hard you look soft as a SmurfGigglin and wigglin, so how we goin out?LOVELY, and that's without a doubt!Chorus 3/4X[LL Cool J]Rappers are my servants, they serve me like an emperorWhen I'm through, you'll need a nurse to take your temperatureand cool you down, cause you're cold as leftoversNot the ones on the table, I'm talkin about RUFF roversYou can't get over -- what's my name, Goofy?You smoke I'm no joke, so my brother break out the looseysand take a pull, cause the buck stops hereI get swift as a magician, wreck {shit} and dissapearDon't cross me, or lose your loyaltyto the Prince of the Rap Court, I'm royaltyAnd it ain't no puzzle, it's a shame how rappers guzzleparagraphs I put together so I carry a muzzleto shut em up and cut em up and make em be quietI'm a one man RIOT, so don't even TRY ITThe Prince of special tactics, plus I'm athleticBefore you play your hand you better do some calistheticsJumpin jacks, squats, push-ups, the whole nineSpeak your piece, then I'ma go for mineAnd I guarantee you, I'm gonna strike againI recommend my friend you drop the pen and give inCop out to one rhyme cause you're facin tenI ain't Sidney Poitier but we can 'Do This Again'I'm nice wit mines, and I gotta admit itYou don't really wanna battle, why don'tcha just forget it!Chorus 1/2[LL Cool J]But if you're hard headed and you still don't understandHere's a little sample -- EHM EHM, my man*BRRRRRRRING* Hello?{*cut n scratch Cool J*}.. takes everything you've got -> Cheers (theme song){*cut n scratch pushin a broom*}.. sure would help a lot -> Cheers (theme song)[LL Cool J]Check my stats, how we livin, I thought soI'm fresh, oh yes, but can they flow, hell noMy rhymes are up to date, excellent, on pointI'm tellin you, they're the serious jointI eat my steak fast, I drink my brew slowMy voice is milky with a nice clear flowI eat like a fat man, and walk like a gigoloI'm not a ballplayer, so now Y'KNOW!Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)cause I rock the house, everybody (aiyyo)And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)KnowhatI'msayin? And I'ma be straight til the year 3000That's word to mother, knahmsayin?And I say mother with a V cause the V is for Victory yaknahmsayin?Cause I'm the victor in this game, word upKnahmsayin? That's what time it is, peace{*crew applause*}That man, he sure is FUNKY FUNKY FUNKYFUNKY! Funky, he sho' is!You best believe he's FUNKY!You didn't KNOW??? FUNKY!
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