Bring on the Substitute
I, Ludicrous

The substitute sits trembling on the bench
His arms are damp his muscles have gone tense
We've gone a goal behind in a pulsating 3rd round tie
Now its time to give the youth team star a try, its do or die

The first team coach is scrabbling in the bag
For those balls that have numbers of the lads
He picks one out and holds it up and waves it in the air
Now its time to leave the capsule if you dare, sorry wrong song

Bring on the substitute and let the make youngster make our day
Bring on the substitute, or make the seniors earn their pay
Bring on the substitute before the minutes tick away
Bring on the substitute and hear 10,000 voices bray, hooray, hooray

Two hours ago nobody knew his name, What's his name, what's his name?
Now the crowd are roaring him to instant fame, there's only one whatshisname
He sprints along the line and does a stretching exercise
But I've seen muscles of a more substantial size, on sparrow's thighs

Course years ago you never had have substitutes son, interesting fact
No, if you got hurt you was carried off or carried on, interesting fact
And I suppose the ball was made out of real leather
The ball was made out of real leather in them days
And when it rained the leather weighed a ton, The leather weighed a ton
Not heard that one

It's over and we're beaten after all
And the substitute he never touched the ball
He only had two minutes but in truth he looks quite bad
Still I suppose it's good experience for the lad
How bloody sad

Bring on the substitute and let the make youngster make our day
Bring on the substitute, or make the seniors earn their pay
Bring on the substitute before the minutes tick away
Bring on the substitute and hear 10,000 voices bray, hooray, hooray

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