She’s got my bathrobe flapping on a flagpolenShe’s got my choir robe tangled in her concertina wire tattoonAnd now my billfold is to water what a train wreck is to a rainbownAnd I’m hottie bottled up inside the body of a red-eyed foolnnI need a half a tank of gasolinenI need some chocolate bars, some nylons, some cigarettes and magazinesnI need some raw meatnSome bed sheetsnA window and a little less windnnCHORUS:nI’m doing battle with the Herculean shadow of another man’s sinsnI’m doing battle with the Herculean shadow of her bathtub ginnnShe had me kidnapped, abducted, probed, and programmednAnd now her mothership is skipping off the atmosphere with me insidenAnd all these implants are to water what a wiretap is to a sink trapnAnd I’m a hottie bottled up inside the body of her big brown eyesnnI need a hammer and some VaselinenI need some chocolate bars, some nylons, some Hagen Das and magazinesnI need a steel trapnA road mapnA thumbtack and a way to cut tinnnCHORUSnnShe’s had her share of dancing bears and diamond-scarred blasé affairsnShe’s had her share of dancing bearsnShe’s never herenShe’s barely ever therennI need a q-beam, a mickey and a swat teamnThis whole Mcgyver-of-ill-advised-love thing just ain’t working outnAnd all this whipped cream is to water what a wildcat is to a wet dreamnAnd I’m a model bottled up inside the body of a red-eyed clownnnI need a half a tank of gasolinenI need some chocolate bars, some nylons, some ammo and some thorazinenI need a hacksawnA golf ballnI’d gnaw my leg off but I’m running out of limbsnnCHORUS