You Are Old, Father William
They Might Be Giants

You are old, Father William, the young man said
And your hair has become very white
And yet you incessantly stand on your head
Do you think, at your age, it is right?

In my youth, Father William replied to his son
I feared it might injure the brain
But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none
Why, I do it again and again

I am old
I am old
I will tell you again
I am old

You are old, said the youth, as I mentioned before
And have grown most uncommonly fat
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door
Pray, what is the reason of that?

In my youth, said the sage, as he shook his gray locks
I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment, one shilling a box
Allow me to sell you a couple?

I am old
I am old
It's a statement, in fact
I am old

You are old, said the youth, and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet
Yet you finish the goose, with the bones and the beak
Pray, how did you manage to do it?

In my youth, said his father, I took to the law
And argued each case with my wife
And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw
Has lasted the rest of my life

I am old
I am old
There's not much more to say
I am old

You are old, said the youth, one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose
What made you so awfully clever?

I have answered three questions, and that is enough
Said his father, don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off or I'll kick you downstairs

Downstairs
Downstairs
Be off or I'll kick you downstairs!


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Lyrics by They Might Be Giants

  (She Was A) Hotel Detective [Single Mix]   2082   All Alone   All McGyver On It   Ana Ng [Live]   Asheville   Baroque Hoedown   Become a Robot [*]   Birdhouse in Your Soul [Live]   Boss of Me [from the UK Only Release][*]   Brain Problem Situation   Canajoharie   Careless Santa   Caroline, No   Celebration   Cloisonné   Counterfeit Fake [*]   Courage the Cowardly Dog   Critic Intro [*]   Dee Dee and Dexter   Disappointing Show   Doctor Worm [Studio Single Version][*]   Dog on Fire   Dog Walker   Dollar For Dollar   Doris Cunningham [*]   Down to the Bottom of the Sea   Dr. Evil [From Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged ...   Employee of the Month   Empty Bottle Blues   Empty Bottle Collector   Escape from the Planet of the Apes   Fake Out in Buenos Aires [*]   Feast of Lights   First Kiss [Live][#]   Fun Assassin   Greasy Kid Stuff   Greek #3 [*]   Hello Radio   High Five!   I Blame You   In Fact   Istanbul (Not Constantinople) [Brownsville Mix]   Istanbul (Not Constantinople) [Live]   Istanbul (Not Constantinople) [LP Version]   Jessica   Judy Is Your Viet Nam   Kiss Me, Son of God [Alternate Version]   Lazyhead & Sleepybones   Let Your Hair Hang Down   Mainstream U.S.A.   Mainstream U.S.A. [*]   Mainstream USA   Meet the Elements   Mosh Momken Abandon   Moving to the Sun   My Other Phone Is A Boom Car   Never Knew Love   Nine Bowls of Soup   No Answer   Now That I Have Everything [*]   O Do Not Forsake Me   O Tannenbaum   Old Pine Box   One Everything   One More Parade   One More Parade   Oranges   Oranges Testimonial   Particle Man [Live]   Please Pass the Milk   Protagonist   Rest Awhile   Robot Parade (Adult Version)   Robot Parade [Adult Version]   Robot Parade [Adult Version][*]   S-E-X-X-Y [Live]   S-E-X-X-Y [Radio Mix]   S-E-X-X-Y [Warren Rigg Microwave Mix]   Science Is Real   Severe Tire Damage   Space Suit   Spoiler Alert   Spy [New Live Version][#]   Stormy Pinkness   Stormy Pinkness [Live in Berlin 1989][#]   Swing Is a Word [*]   The Ballad of Timothy McSweeney   The Big Big Whoredom [*]   The Edison Museum   The Guitar   The Haunted Eye   The Lady and the Tiger   The Lady Is a Tramp   The Long Grift   The Statue Got Me High [Single Version]   They Got Lost [Live][#]   Three Might Be Duende   Till My Head Falls Off [Live]   Tippecanoe and Tyler Too   Truth In Your Words   Turtle Songs of North America   Unsupervised, I Hit My Head   Vancouver (Richards on Richards)   We Live In A Dump   Weep Day [*]   West Hollywood House of Blues   When Will You Die   Whirlpool   Why Does the Sun Really Shine?   Words Are Like (demo)   XTC Vs. Adam Ant [Live]   You Probably Get That a Lot

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