A world of world travellers couldn't turn the scoffing offnHiding out behind the blinds, a know-it-all awaits a fallnI'm saying no to air travel sickened by yournFarewell wave, professional at sitting coachnOh, don't you know it isn't safe?nLearn how to avoid cliches and forgo this silly stagenThat you're innI learned how to avoid cliches - I'm staying homenI'm staying home today!nnSpent from seeing sights all daynSnapshots, postcards of decaynBeaches overcrowded sunny daysnI'm gagging over here, I'll never change!nSo you need to learn a thing or twon'Cause every girl I ever knewnJust packed her bags and went awaynSewed her oats as if to say -nnI'm the first world traveller! I am so brave!nI'm the first world traveller! I am so brave!nnWell I hope you know -nI'm full of spite and ragenBut I miss your face and all your gall, you little girlnReturn to your home in these United StatesnI want you there