Why I Resist
Anne Heaton

I’m writing you this letter from my carnI’m still wondering about the dark nIs it just like nighttime?nSome say it does not existnnI have sabotaged my own successnIf there is no darknessnWhy would I do it?nI am considering nI am considering thisnnThat maybe my need to not conformnIs closer to my heart of heartsnThan is my neednIs my need to fit innnThat would explain nWhy I resistnThat would explain nWhy it’s come to thisnThat would explain nThat would explain thisnnWhat is strange to menIs this yearningnThis yearning I am preferringnTo the thing nTo the thing that I lovennIt’s the same with the musicnI choose the songnThat almost deliversnI follow alongnHope it saves the best for lastnI craft my story just like thatnnAnd that would explainnWhy I resistnThat would explainnWhy it’s come to thisnThat would explain nThat would explain thisnnIt took a while for me to include younIn my nighttime prayersnIt took a while for me to include younNow you’re always therenAnd at first your love is just how I want itnI don’t worry about your deathnThen it sneaks in nAnd I ache for your happinessnnAnd nothing explains nWhy I can’t resistnNothing explainsnWhy it’s come to thisnNothing explainsnNothing explains this

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