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Tragic Events, part III
Evelyn Evelyn

Evelyn?
Evelyn?
I just had the most terrible dream.
I was walking on a street in a huge city,
but all of the shops and all of the cars were empty.
It was so quiet, and I knew that something was very wrong.
And then I realised... you weren't there.
I called for you, but no one answered.
I looked for you everywhere, Evelyn.

Hush, it was only a dream.
Don't be scared.
Remember, everything is going to be better soon, Evelyn.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The year is 2004.
The Da Vinci code is the New York Times's number one bestseller,
and the bombing at the Australian embassy in Jakarta leaves eleven dead.
And on an open stretch of road,
two sisters are waiting for a ride.

On the eve of their 19th birthday,
the twins have covertly left their circus trailer,
packing their few worldly possessions;
a change of clothes,
their painted ukulele,
and a battered photograph of Bimba and Kimba.
they walk nine miles under cover of night.

After what seems like an endless wait,
an 18-wheeled truck pulls over
and the driver, a retired professional wrestler named Tony,
offers the girls a ride
(Hey, little ladies. Why don't you slide on up in here, next to Tony.)

Unskilled at smalltalk,
the twins sit wide-eyed and silent in the front seat.
The driver, who had not initially noticed the twins's unique condition
leaves the sisters at a gas station in Walla Walla, Washington.
(Listen why don't you two just hang out here for a minute, I'll be right back...)

Not knowing where to go,
the twins walk in to the nearby Don't Tell Motel,
run by one Montgomery Lubovich.
(You girls looking for a room?)
When it becomes apparent that they have no means to pay for their stay,
Mister Lubovich offers to employ them in exchange for lodging and food.
(Well you can stay here, but it ain't gonna be free)
The twins are given a small cot in the corner of the boiler room,
and are put to work stuffing envelopes,
licking stamps,
and filling out hundreds of sweepstakes applications every day on Mister Lubovich's behalf.

More so than ever before,
the twins feel lonely at the Don't Tell.
They dream of befriending some of the other tenants,
many of whom are women their age.
But whenever the shy sisters work up the courage to approach one of these potential friends,
they are met with looks of fear and disgust
(Oh my god. Candie, that [i]thing[/i] is looking at us .. Ewww)

So they busied themselves by composing songs
and practising their ukulele technique
After 2 years at the Don't Tell,
Mister Lubovich teaches the girls to
search for and print sweepstakes applications by themselves
on the 486 Pentium computer behind the motel's front desk
(Now type w-w-w dot instant win frenzy dot com)

One day,
while searching online for new sweepstakes application forms,
the girls mistakenly stumble upon a social networking site.
They navigate through the profiles of many musicians and performers
and see the great number of friends that they have.

They are amazed, and intrigued.

The twins redouble their efforts
and stay up late for a week
to perfect their singing and ukulele playing.

Late one night,
while Mister Lubovich is fast asleep,
the twins creep out of the boiler room
to the front desk computer
to create their very own music profile page.
Their heartbeats quicken as their first song begins to upload.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just think of all the friends we're going to have, Evelyn.

Thousands.
Thousands and thousands of friends, Evelyn.

I'm so excited, Evelyn.

Goodnight, Evelyn.

Goodnight, Evelyn.


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Lyrics by Evelyn Evelyn

  A Campaign Of Shock And Awe   Chicken Man   Elephant Elephant   Evelyn Evelyn   Have You Seen My Sister Evelyn?   Have You Seen My Sister, Evelyn?   Love Will Tear Us Apart   My Space   Sandy Fishnets   The Tragic Events of September   The Tragic Events of September, Part I   Tragic Events - Part II   Tragic Events - Part III   Tragic Events, Part 2   Tragic Events, Part 2   You Only Want Me 'cause You Want My Sister

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