LyricMeaning

Tiger Woods
Dan Bern

I got big balls
Big old balls
Big as grape fruits
Big as pumpkins
Yes sir, yes sir
and on my really good days
they swell to the size of small dogs
my balls are as big as small dogs
well it ain't braggin' if it's true
yes sir, yes sir
Muhammad Ali said that
back when he was a young man
back when he was cassius clay
before he fought too many fights
and left his brain inside the ring
and sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
Yeah I got a friend whose goal in life
was to one day go down on Madonna
that's all he wanted, that was all,
to one day go down on Madonna
and when my friend was 34, he got his wish in Rome one night
He got to go down on Madonna
In Rome on night in some hotel
and ever since he's been depressed
his life is shit from here on in
and all our friends just shake their heads
and say too soon, too soon, too soon
he went down on Madonna too soon
too young, too young, too soon, too soon
and it ain't braggin if it's true
yes sir, yes sir
no it ain't braggin' if it's true
Muhammad Ali said that
back when he was a young man
back when he was cassius clay
before he fought too many fights
and left his brain inside the ring
and sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
If certain girls don't look at you
It means that they like you a lot
If other girls don't look at you, it just means they're ignoring you
how can you know
how can you know
which is which, who's doin' what
I guess that you can ask 'em
Which one are you baby
Do you like me or are you ignoring me
Do you like me or are you ignoring me
And all you need to do that
Is one big pair of big balls
Balls as big as grapefruits
Balls as big as pumpkins
Balls as big as mine
But even though my balls are big
Sometimes I wish they were bigger
Even bigger
Big as the wheels on a tractor
Big as the golden arches
Big as the golden gate bridge
Big as the state of Kansas
Big as Mars and Jupiter
Big as the swing of Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
Dan Bern Tiger Woods


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Lyrics by Dan Bern

  73   Alaska Highway   All Right Kind Of A Girl   Baby Bye Bye   Baby Love   Beautiful Trees   Black Tornado   Broken Down Old Horses   Capetown   Carried Away   Chain Around My Neck   Chick Singers   City   Closer To You   Crow   Cure For Aids   Different Worlds   Don't Get Mad Get Even   Dreidel   Estelle   Eva   Everybody's Baby   Fly Away   Go To Sleep   God Said No   Graceland   Hannibal   Hannukahs of Long Ago   Hey God   Hiroshima   Holy House   Home   Honeydoo!   Hoody   I Need You   I Need You   I'm Not from Around Here   I'm Not The Guy   Jerusalem   Jesus Freak   King of the World   Krautmeyer   Kurt   Late Show   Latkes   Lifeline   Lithuania   Little Russian Girl   Live Another Day   Maccabees   Marilyn   Menorah   Monica   My Love is Not For Sale   Never Fall in Love   New American Language   No Missing Link   Oh Sister   Oklahoma   One Dance   One Piece at a Time   One Thing Real   Party By Myself   Presents   Queen   Rainin' in Madrid   Rice   Rolling Away   Rome   Smartie Mine   So Many Ways   Soul   Suicide Bomb   Superman   Suzanne   Sweetness   Swing Set   Talkin' Alien Abduction Blues   Tape   Terra Haute   The Fascist in Me   The Golden Voice of Vin Scully   These Living Dreams   Toledo   Too Late to Die Young   Trudy   True Revolutionaries   Turn on a Dime   Turning Over   Waffle House   Waffle House Hannukah   Wasteland   Welcome   When The Earth Had Two Moons   World

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