Guess who's back in town?nThey're gonna smash your face in and they'll kick you when you're downnOver at the caff Ian Beale starts to frownnCos the Mitchell brothers are the hardest cockney thugs aroundnnSittin back watchin Eastenders in the flatnPeople tryin to tell me that there's something wrong with thatnBut I do not see what is wrongnLet me try and explain through the medium of songnnGuess who's back in town?n2 bald cunts in a range rovernYou'd better watch your backnCos the Mitchells have come to take overnnThis shit aint nothing like HollyoaksnCos we're only watchin it for 2 blokesnAint nothing worth fucking in sightnIf you have a wank you're gonna give yourself a frightnWith something rotten like Dot Cotton - or PatnShe's a fuckin lesbian man, she's way too fucking fatnFor me or Finnie to likenGrant and Phil told her to get on her fucking bikenWhen she asked for an autograph, or maybe 3nThose 2 cockney bastards are the best thing on TVnSo I don't care what you motherfuckers saynI'm staying in to watch the omnibus on SundaynnGuess who's back in town?n2 bald cunts in a range rovernYou'd better watch your backnCos the Mitchells have come to take overnnGuess how long we've been waiting for this?nYou couldn't even tempt me out if you offered me a 5-in-a-bed with Girls Aloud minus the gingernIf you don't respect my choice then I raise my middle fingernnJust stand still... and look hardnWhatever happened to that fucking big dog called Wellard?nHe moved away to Manchester to find himself a bitchnRebecca Wade gave Grant a punch and now he needs a stitchnnGuess who's back in town?n2 bald cunts in a range rovernYou'd better watch your backnCos the Mitchells have come to take overnnI couldn't give a fuck if you're off to see the queennCos tonight we're gonna get a lesson in how to be meannWe'll never win the quiz cos none of us are brightnI cannot wait to see those fuckers rolling into town like the mobnReady to start shit with anybody who's a knob to their mother or sisnIf you think you're hard enough they're gonna take the pissnWith a kick and a punch and a Who the fuck are you?nThey're gonna fuck you up like Asian bird flunI'm otherwise engaged cos Eastenders rocksnThe only way I'm leaving here is in a fucking boxnnGuess who's back in town?n2 bald cunts in a range rovernYou'd better watch your backnCos the Mitchells have come to take overn