The Half-Life Of Kissing
Kneejerk

i resent my first kissnan introduction to these things i love so wellnnso now we fall back into friendshipnni was just lying on this bed nwith my head in my handsntrying to make you understandnthat every single word is a journeynfrom the pit of my stomachnto the top of my mouthnnand the feet of the faithfulnkicked dust in my breathnand clogged up my lungsnwith the smell of the death nof the hope and the fear and the prayersnthat kept me alivenfrom afarnni was trampled to the groundnand i fell on my face nand i remembered this placenfrom the dreams of those toothless daysnwhen i clung to ignorancenlike a fucking shroudnthat covered my eyesnninsight undesirednof where we both stoodnand the good in mendrained out like bloodnand sweat and waste and broken teethnand dust i swallowed downnnso if words are all i haventhen with words we'll build a worldnwhere we can burn our daysnand set fire to the things that we lovennwhen my nerves connect to younmaking contactni spend more time itching stumpsnthan flexing fingersnmotorized, you are my supportnthe sound that helps me breathe you innthe machines we built alonenare still not workingnn(alien, like a mineral she said, or at least she meant. soft, constantly whispering caresses erode and abrade. they smooth and briefly perfect but eventually they annihilate)nnrunningnlike some melodrama (dancing)ntowards the cliff edge (laughing)nbut i am not a character (playing)ni'm a ghostnnthe sicknessnis with me stillnmakes my veins crawlnwith the sting of poisonsnrunning throughnthese poor holesnin my sick skinnnthe half life of kissingnyour lips won't endni cannot speak with your tongue in my mouthncross tongued, tongue tiedni can't speak with your tongue in my mouthnwith it pressed againstnthese poor aching, bleeding gumsni wish you could see me in the night nwhen the rivers from my eyes nflood their banks again and bring the rainnso we end this four year droughtni wish you could see me in the darkest hours when my face blooms anewnni can feel your pulse through my lipsnand i would walk down the street naked againni'd withstand the heatni'd withstand the painnif you kiss these eyes like butterfliesnand make me want to live againnn(this cold wind will blow away the warm sun. this autumn friendship formed of sorrow. we have a long way to go, this image imprinted on my mind. maybe we can all meet again junesometime)nnif i had 1,000 words to tell you how i feelni'd throw them all away because none of them are realnand i'd make the soundnthat i have foundnso deep inside myselfnn'it's you'.

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