It shouldn’t be so hard to find the words to say.
But I’m sorry for that day. I can’t believe that’s your name on this grave.
I’m not half the man I should have been because…
…the repercussion from your pain was painfully obvious.
I watched your son get drunk. I watched my brother get high.
We’re just barely getting by.
But I digress, and I’ll confess just to get this off my chest.
I digress, I confess, I just can’t put this thing to rest. .
I’m not half the man you think I am; I’m not.
I pressed my hands into the sand and now I’m drowning in the flood.
Because the bridge to you my friend is paved in black ambivalence.
I cannot cross this canyon so I’m jumping from the ledge.
I still remember that October on your daughters wedding day.
Well I know you passed away but I see you in the smile on her face.
It fills my chest but not a breath could leave my lungs.
And I would hate to think you’d ever be ashamed of us.
When I see your husband now, and just how far he’s fall…
…maybe he doesn’t want to live at all.
But I digress, and I’ll confess just to get this off my chest.
I digress, I confess, I just can’t put this thing to rest. .
I’m not half the man you think I am; I’m not.
I pressed my hands into the sand and now I’m drowning in the flood.
Because the bridge to you my friend is paved in black ambivalence.
I cannot cross this canyon so I’m jumping from the ledge.
With my feet beneath the mud, I’ll let this river freeze my blood.
I cannot cross this canyon if I’m drowning in the flood.