The End
Mattress Sale

That doesn't mean play harmonica over the whole thing

Now, some things I learned in college
One cannot drink a whole box of wine in one night
(I disagree)
He's a liar
That's another thing I learned in college

Another thing I've learned in college
How to properly use the article one
You say it when you're trying to refer to someone when not really referring to them
Like, one cannot play harmonica over every single note
That's right

Another thing I've learned in college
You can get by with no re-racks
If your partner isn't a girl

And to continue that train of thought
You can't tell those thoughts to your partner if she's a girl
Don't let her know that she sucks
It's not their fault that they can't make those cups

OOOOoooo

So another thing I've learned in college
IF you're gonna mess around with sluts, be prepared
Always carry a dental dam
Or if you don't have a dental dam
Don't let them put their mouth on your big middle leg of ham

You'll get diseases that way
I lost three friends that way
They all died
And I'm sorry Jamaican Mom, it wasn't cuz they were gay

What else did we learn in college?
How to differentiate between a hoe and a skank
That doesn't have much to do with math
But I used a math term
That's cuz we apply what we learned in college to the real world

And truly that's what we're supposed to know
At least that's what I was told by my high school counselor
And the funny thing about that high school counselor is

He hung himself
After I left!

Yes he did!

So Asher Roth you've got it all wrong
College is a depressing place
It's good for writing songs
Everything that's happened to me in this school
Has made me wanna cut my writs or at least drop a lot of acid
So college, college
You get three friends and they all kill themselves cuz they essed to many dees to get ahead
they tried to get ahead but they were giving head
to the professors

and essing dees
is not std free
you can still get
diseases
like syphilis and gonorrhea

another thing i learned in college
you can't get pregnant if you are essing dees
but you can get disease
(at least it's not a baby)

so when my girlfriend accused me
of cheating on her with some illegitimate hussy
oh no baby, i am sorry you got that gonorrhea
but i essed some dees
so i could pass calculus three

(S T Ds)

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