I caught a spot of rabies last FallWhile I was roaming through the South--It was raining cats & dogs and every cat and dogwas foaming at the mouth...I met a wild-eyed spinster on the back of a busShe asked if there was any part of her I'd like to touchWhen I told her Yer nuts! she got mad at meAnd lectured on female anatomy...------I got a tight white sailor's suit onI got some buisness with you on the futonIf you got the time, honey, I got the moolahI'm not Mr Right, but I am Mr Two Wrongs...Cardinals with fuchsia feathersGrip their flies and flap togetherHere comes a bird with a ball on a tetherFollowed by another and another and anotherAnd the rest of this adventure is CENSORED------Flanagan went a full year without bathingAnd he reeked like a Hell-born beastHe used to slick his hair back every dayWith a bear claw and elbow greaseSo I told him You'll be showered with candy and treatsIf you can knock a pinata off the branch of a treeBut what I showed him was not a pinata, no,'Twas a beehive, actually...Thus he was chased by the beesThey followed him down to the creekHe jumped in the water--The upshot's he got hisFirst bath in fifty-two weeks------If yer a wealthy old codger then y'better not lodge hereAt the Amputated Arms Hotel, pop--The man behind the counter, though a brute & a bounderIs a milk-sop next to the bell-hopWho'd rather turn you inside oot & backwardsThan pamper you, you highfalutin bastard--Ask him for a hand with your bagAnd you are gonna catch a boot in yer sack, sir!
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