Come hither all ye brave and we’ll tell you a taleOf a fat pommy boy called WilliamDreamt one night of a far-away placeA wise man with a sun-dried face A long time ago in AfricaThere lived a mystical, magical wilderyakThere was darkness in the land, and we thought it was slainIt’s your destiny to ease our painSo he sailed his bathtub across the seaTo the land of the lion and zucchiniShipwrecked off the coast of TunisiaHe had to trade his pants for food (how rude!)Naked he trekked through the deep dark bushPursued by the jackal, hyena and suchMorale was down, tears on his chestFor he feared he had failed his questSearching and searching, I hope I will findThis yak is the beast of my dreamsVisions oh visions these stories in mindI hope i will find it this yearThis year i will find himBackwards he went down the road the he’d travelledOver deserts and valleys, mountains and seasThrew in the towel, turning back homeBut a rustle in the bushes so he froze!Could it be the yak he sought?For bounding through the bushes a beast came forthA wondrous sight, a splendour to beholdThe trees parted and a cow approached!Searching and searching I think I have foundThe beast of my dreams is a cowWeary so weary, it all seems futile Perhaps the old man was senile!As he entered the village, knew the time was nearSweat poured down as he cowered with fearHe led the beast forth, thinking he’d failedFor surely they weren’t fools and the truth would prevailDescended on the village, the crickets chirpedShocked looks as they beheld his lowly offeringThe tribesman smiled, “my son, you’ve done us proud”And this is where our story ends!
Lyrics by Sounds Like Chicken
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