I was just seventeenWhen you rode into townJust a girl full of fantasies and longingI saw youI knew I had to be with youThen you looked in my eyesAnd you asked me my nameAnd I trembled before you like a babyThen gently I kissed youWho could resist you?You took my heart and soulAnd before I had a chance to take controlWe retired to your palace on the PoleWhere we only had ourselvesAnd the reindeer and the elvesAnd a lot of things we never saidAbout the life I could have ledIf I had had the sense to stay awayBut here we are NickAnd so NickI know it's time for you to go NickI know by now I'll never claim you for my ownI've been resigned to spend my Christmases aloneAnd so au revoir NickIt's grand NickI don't pretend to understand NickI saw you look at Blitzen long and lovinglyThe way you used to look at meI have sat twenty yearsIn this drafty retreatAs the latest in the line of Mrs. ClausesI've sat hereAnd wondered what you want from meBut you sit by yourselfOn the couch in the denAnd you watch Miracle on 34th StreetYou get sad and dreamyCan't even see meWon't even say, Hello!Now you tell me that it's time for you to goHa!Sling your sack upon your back and Ho, ho, ho!Ha!And what matters most of allIs to sit inside some mallAnd you never think of meWhile I am pining by the treeBut never mindI will surviveWhile you are goneI set you free, NickGoodbye, NickGo ride your reindeer through the sky, NickI don't suppose you'll ever want me by your sideI know you nowYou want a plaything, not a brideSo on your way, NickShalom, NickDon't feel the need to hurry home, NickShould I want comfort in the cold and bitter stormI've got the elves to keep me warmOh, oh, Nick, I didn't mean it. I'm just going crazy all cooped up in here! Oh, Nick, I mean, come on, I'm not even German.Please take me with you. Please! I'm your wife damn it. Isn't there one once of human decency buried beneath all those layersof fat? You disgust me! Oh yes, It's so easy to judge, isn't it? Deciding who's naughty and who's nice? Well, who died andleft you God, Mr. Claus? Hmph.But never mind, NickOkay, NickI hate to keep you from your sleigh, NickWhen you return I will be many miles awayI'll have my lawyer call your lawyerNew Years Day!That's all from me, NickGain way, NickI'll miss you less than I can say, NickHave fun with all the little boys along the routeI'll get the mansion and the factory to bootI will not wait until the snow beneath me thawsI will escapeYour Santa claws!!
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