Such Horrible Things
Creature Feature

Sit Back Now, Let Me Tell You A Tale


Where Justice Does Not Prevail


About An Ill-Fated Life, So Very Full Of Strife


Where Two Wrongs Do Not Make A Right


So


When I Was Born


I Did Surely Scorn


My Proud Parents Name


Then Their Lives Went Down The Drain


Drove Them Insane


My Birth Was A Curse


I Bit The Nurse


Oh, But I Love The Worst


I Deserve To Be Slowly Submersed


Dried Out Then Laid In A Hearse


When I Was Two


I Poured Super Glue


Into My Fathers Hair


As He Sat Unaware


In His Arm Chair


Much To His Dismay


Had To Cut It All Away


Oh, But It Felt Great


I Deserve To Be Cut And Filleted


Then Tossed About In Disarray


Until The Pieces Melt Away


I Am Not A Bad Man


Even Though I Do Bad Things


Very Bad Things


Such Horrible Things


But It's Not Quite What It Seems


**Not Quite What He Seems**


Not Quite What I Seem


Ah, Hell


It's Exactly What It Seems


When I Was Four


I'd Wait By The Door


With A Knife In My Hand


And A Most Devious Plan


It Would Be Quite Grand


As The Mail Fell Through The Slot


The Sharp Edge He Got


Oh, But I Like The Thought


I Deserve To Be Tied In A Knot


Broken Bones And Blood Clots


When I Was Six


I Used To Trick


The Next Door Neighbors Son


In The Woods We Would Run


Time For Fun


Hide And Seek Has A Cost


He Would Be Forever Lost


Oh, But I Love To Scoff


I Deveserve To Have My Head Lopped Off


Hidden And Covered In Moss


Until This Memory's Forgot


I Am Not A Bad Man


Even Though I Do Bad Things


Very Bad Things


Such Horrible Things


But It's Not Quite What It Seems


**Not Quite What He Seems**


Not Quite What I Seem


Ah, Hell


It's Exactly What It Seems


When I Was Eight


I Used To Hate


The Color Of My House


So As Quite As A Mouse


I Burned It Down


To The Ground


When No One Was Around


Oh, But I Love The Sound


I Deserve To Be Quickly Put Down


Rotting Six Feet Underground


When I Was Ten


I Used To Pretend


To Drown In The Sea


Till They Come And Rescue Me


Then Preceed


To Laugh In Their Face


Such A Disgrace


Oh, But I Love The Taste


I Deserve To Have My Brains Displaced


All Over The Fireplace


Until This Life Has Been Erased


I Am Not A Bad Man


Even Though I Do Bad Things


Very Bad Things


Such Horrible Things


But It's Not Quite What It Seems


**Not Quite What He Seems**


Not Quite What I Seem


Ah, Hell


It's Exactly What It Seems


When I Was Twelve


I Used To Delve


Into Evil Schemes


Just To Illicit Screams


Boost My Self Esteem


Pushed My Sister Down A Well


She Just Fell


Oh, But I Love To Dwell


I Deserve To The Roast Deep Down In Hell


When No One Can Hear Me Yell


When I Was Fourteen


Nothing Much Happened


Well, There Was That One Time


I Am Not A Bad Man


Even Though I Do Bad Things


Very Bad Things


Such Horrible Things


But It's Not Quite What It Seems


**Not Quite What He Seems**


Not Quite What I Seem


Ah, Hell


It's Exactly What It Seems


When I Was Sixteen


Life Was Frightening


My Brother Was Quiet Dull


So With Laughter In My Skull


Pushed Him In A Hole


Then Buried Him Alive


He Barely Survived


Oh, But I Love The Cries


I Deserve To Be Battered And Fried


In An Electric Chair That's Set On High


Now That I'm Eighteen


I Still Hate Things


From This Padded Cell I Call My Home


No Friends, No Phone


No Life To Call My Own


Here I Will Lie


Until The Very Day I Die


Until My Blood Begins To Dry


And I Return To The Darkness From Whence I Came


So


I Am Not A Bad Man


Even Though I Do Bad Things


Very Bad Things


Such Horrible Things


But It's Not Quite What It Seems


Not Quite What I Seem


Ah, Hell


I'm Exactly What I Seem


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