Mary Long is a hypocritenShe does all the things that she tells us not to donSelling filth from a corner shopnAnd knitting patterns to the high street queuenShe paints roses, even makes them smell goodnAnd then she draws titties on the khazy wallnDrowns kittens just to get a thrillnAnd writes sermons in the Sunday ChroniclennHow did you lose your virginity, Mary Long ?nWhen will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long ?nnMary told Johnny not to write such trashnSaid it was a waste of public moneynShe made a fuss, they made apologiesnBut everybody thought the show was funnynWhen the nation knew you'd had childrennIt came as such a surprisenWe really didn't know you'd had it in younHow you did it we can only surmisennHow did you lose your virginity, Mary Long ?nWhen will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long ?nnMary Long, you're not alonenBut you're a long way behind our timesnWhat we do in full frontal viewnIs more honest than your clean-up mindnWhat I'm saying, Mary Long isnWhen you can spare a minutenGo find your friend the porny LordnDig your self a hole and jump in itnnHow did you lose your virginity, Mary Long ?nWhen will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long ?n