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Sitting on Gold (The Latter)
Grandview

I've been clenching my fists and grinding my teeth.
I've been building up walls with a false sense of apathy, as if you deserved it,
as if you weren't worth the time of day.

But I am not a liar, and you are not blind.
I know these words aren't much,
but there is life behind each one for the first time, in a long time.
You got to start somewhere.

You've been keeping your word and shaking your head, but you learn to forgive, and I know you never let me forget there lessons to be taught
from the bodies we skin ourselves from.
And I know you're afraid, but I am not dead,
so I won't bury myself, at least not yet.
I'll do more than just breathe to stay alive.
I'll be more than a kid who learned how to lie.

I still have all your old songs stuck in my head,
and I swear to God,
I'll get around to listening to you and to them again.

Well I've been staring right at the sun, and if I'm blinded then at least you'll know I tried looking up, and I saw light.
We'll be alright.

I've spent the last year building a maze.
I've spent the last year running away
with no idea why I started in the first place.
But you stopped me right in my tracks, and before I could speak, you started to laugh and you said, well you know you remind me of myself all too much.

I still have all your old songs stuck in my head,
and I swear to God, I'll get around to listening to you and to them again.
I'm learning what it's like to see the colors for what they are,
not what I want from them.


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