You've heard Dasher and Dancer and Comet and Blitzen--Do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?You can call me Rudy, I don't mindYou can tell me from the others by the way my nose shinesIt was a point of contention, an embarrassmentHow was I to know it would be heaven-sent?I was chillin' on my own at the top of the worldThe North Pole joint, with the fat boy KrisSteps up to this fly rein-girlShe says, Yo, homeboy, you better listen to this:Anyone can see you got an interest in meI can truly understand it; I'm as def as can beFrom my bad Bambi tail to my hot hoof feetI'm the sweetest little reindeer that you ever gonna meetBut you got a little nightlight at the end of your faceEvery time you get excited, you illuminate the place.Can't be your girl--ain't no way--I don't hang with no boy who ain't pulling the sleighSo beat feet. Scram. You hear what I'm sayin'?Shiny-nosed sucker, go away, I ain't playin'She was--she was--it's trueShe was cold; I was down, I ain't lyin' to you.That Bambi-shakin' rein-girl left me sad and blueBut I promised myself I'd have her for my ownCuz it was Christmas Eve, and I was all aloneKris Kringle, that cat, was in a jam alrightHe didn't have his Ever-ready's ready that nightHe said, Yo, homeboy, with your incandescent snootI need your help to deliver this loot.I said, Dang. For real? You got to be jivin'.You gonna hook me to the brunt of the ride that you be drivin'?He said, Yo, I'm as serious as a heart attackI got a lot of little goodies in my Santa Claus sack.But the fog is so thick and so dark and so blackI can't see my way there, much less get back.Wha-wha-well, the next thing you know,I'm in front of the sleighI say, Yo, this is dope. We be on our way.And the rest, as they say, is history.I got the Bambi-shakin' rein-girl next to me.She says, Oh, Rudy!I say, Yo. Slide me some HOOF.
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