RESTAURANT MAN
No please no,
Not tonight please no,
Mister,Can't you go,
Not tonight,
Can't have a scene.
ROGER
What?
RESTAURANT MAN
go, please go, you,
Hello sir,
I said no, important customer,
MARK
What am I, just a blur?
RESTAURANT MAN
You sit all night, you never buy.
MARK
That's a lie, that's a lie,
I had a tea the other day
RESTAURANT MAN
You couldnt pay!
MARK
Oh yeah...
COLLINS
Benjamin Coffin the third- here?
RESTAURANT MAN
Oh no!
ALL
Wine and Beer!
MAUREEN
The enemy of Avenue A, will stay
(they sit)
RESTAURANT MAN
Oy vey.
COLLINS
What brings a mogul in his own mind, to the life cafe?
BENNY
I would like to propose a toast,
To Maureen's noble try. It went well.
MAUREEN
Go to hell!
BENNY
Was the yuppie scum stomped?
Not counting the homeless, how many tickets weren't comped?
ROGER
Why did Muffy-
BENNY
Alison-
ROGER
Miss the show?
BENNY
There was a death in the family, if you must know.
ANGEL
Who died?
BENNY
Our akita
BENNY, MARK, ANGEL & COLLINS
Evita.
BENNY
Mimi, I'm suprised,
A bright and charming girl like you,
Hangs out with these slackers,
(Who don't adhere to deals)
They make fun- yet I am the one,
Attempting to do some good.
Or do you really want a neighborhood,
Where people piss on your stoop every night?
Bohemia, Bohemia is a fallacy in your head,
This is Calcutta, Bohemia is dead.
MARK
Dearly beloved,
We gather here to say our goodbyes.
Here she lies, no one knew her worth
the late, great, daughter of mother earth.
On this night, when we celebrate the birth.
In that little town of Bethlehem
We raise our glass, you bet your ass (maureen flashes hers) to
La Vie Boheme.
ALL
la vie boheme x4
MARK
To days of inspiration, Playing hooky,
Makin something out of nothing
The need to express-
To communicate,
To going against the grain,
Going insane, Going mad,
To loving tension,
No pension,
To more than one dimension,
To starving for attention,
Hating convention,
Hating pretestion,
Not to mention, of course,
Hating dear old mom and dad.
To riding your bike midday
Pass the three piece suits-
To fruits-
To no absolutes-
To Absolut-
To choice-
To the Village Voice,
To any passing fad.
To being an us for once,
Instead of at them
ALL
La vie boheme,
Gust The Women-
La vie boheme
MAUREEN
Is the equipment in a pyramid?
JOANNE
It is maureen
MAUREEN
The mixer doesnt have a case
Don't give me that face! [ass slap]
Hey mister, she's my sister!
RESTAURANT MAN
So thats 5 miso soup
4 seaweed salad
3 soy burger dinner
2 tofu dog platters
And 1 pasta with meatless balls
(eww)
COLLINS
It tastes the same!
MIMI
If you close your eyes
RESTAURANT MAN
And 13 orders of fries, is that it here?
ALL
wine and beer!
MIMI AND ANGEL
To hand crafted beers made in local breweries,
To yoga, To yogurt, To rice and beans and cheese,
To leather, To dildos,
To curry vindaloo,
To huevos rancheros,
And Maya Angelou,
MAUREEN AND COLLINS
Emotion, Devotion,
To causing a commotion,
Creation, Vacation
MARK
Mucho masturbation,
MAUREEN AND COLLINS
Compassion, To fashion,
To passion when it's new
COLLINS
To Sontag
ANGEL
To Sondheim
OTHERS
To anything taboo
COLLINS AND ROGER
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham, and Cage
COLLINS
Lenny bruce
ROGER
Langston Hughes
MAUREEN
To the stage!
PERSON #1
To uta,
#2
To buddha
#3
Pablo naruda too
MARK AND MIMI
Why Dorothy and Toto,
Went over the rainbow,
To blow off Auntie Em
ALL
La Vie Boheme
MAUREEN
And wipe the speakers off before you pack
JOANNE
yes, Maureen,
MAUREEN
Well, Hurry back!
MR. GREY
Sisters?
MAUREEN
We're close.
OTHERS
Brothers!
ALL
Bisexuals, Trisexuals,
Homo sapiens,
Carcinogens,
Hallucinogens, Men
Pee Wee Herman,
German wine, Turpentine
Gertude Stein,Antonioni,
Bertolucci, Kurosowa,
Camina Burna
To apathy, To entropy,
To empathy, ecstacy,
Vaclav Havel, The Sex Pistols, 8BC,
To no shame,
Never playing the fame game.
COLLINS
To marijuana!
ALL
To sodomy,
It's between God and me, to S&M
BENNY
Waiter, Waiter, Waiter
ALL
La Vie Boheme!
COLLINS
In honor of the death of Bohemia,
An impromptu salon will commence immediately
following dinner....
Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap,
Will perform her famous lawn chair handcuff dance,
To the sound of iced tea being stirred.
ROGER
and Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary,
About his inabilty to hold an erection,
On the high holy days.
MARK
And Maureen Johnson,
Back from her spectacular one night engagement
at the 11th Street lot
Will sing Native American tribal chants backwards,
through her vocoder,
while accompanying herself on the electric cello,
which she has never studied.
BENNY
Your new boyfriend doesn't know about us.
MIMI
Theres nothing to know.
BENNY
Don't you think that we should discuss.
MIMI
It was three months ago.
BENNY
He doesn't act like he's with you.
MIMI
We're taking it slow.
BENNY
Where is he now?
MIMI
He's right.... (uhuh)hmm...where'd he go?
MARK
And Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet
devocative song
(Roger plays)
That doesn't remind us of Musetta's waltz.
COLLINS
Angel Dumott Schunard will model the latest fall fashions from Paris,
While accompanying herself,
On the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub.
ANGEL
And Collins will recount his exploits as anarchist,
Including the tale of his successful reprogramming of the MIT
Virtual Reality equipment to self destruct as it broadcast the words,
Actual Reality! Act Up! FIGHT AIDS!
Benny:
Check!
MIMI
Excuse me, did I do something wrong?
I get invited and ignored,
All night long
ROGER
I've been trying, I'm not lying,
No one's perfect, I've got baggage
MIMI
Life's too short, babe, time is flyin'
I'm lookin for baggage that goes with mine
ROGER
I should tell you
MIMI
I've got baggage too,
Should tell you
BOTH
Baggage wine
ALL
and beer!
MIMI
AZT break
(MIMI, ROGER, ANGEL, AND COLLINS take pills)
ROGER
You?
MIMI
Me
You?
ROGER
Mimi
Rent- La Vie Boheme
The Broadways
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Lyrics by The Broadways
15 Minutes 25 Degrees North 2Nd Grade Cells A Wonderful Guy -South Pacific Ben Moves To California Broadway And Briar Castle On A Cloud- Les Miz Cinderella- Stepsisters Lament Corner Of The Sky Daddy's Son Daddy's Son Dropjaw Every Story Is A Love Story Everything I Ever Wanted To Know About Genocidei L... Floundering Fuck The Church Hair Handful Of Songs Happy Talk - South Pacific Honey Bun -South Pcific I Hear Things Are Just As Bad Down In Lake Erie I Think I Shall Never See Into The Woods - A Very Smart Prince Into The Woods - Act I Finale: Ever After Into The Woods - Act II Prologue: So Happy Into The Woods - Agony I Into The Woods - Agony II (Reprise) Into The Woods - Any Moment Into The Woods - Ciderella At The Grave Into The Woods - Finale: Children Will Listen Into The Woods - First Midnight Into The Woods - Giants In The Sky Into The Woods - Hello Little Girl Into The Woods - I Guess This Is Goodbye Into The Woods - I Know Things Now Into The Woods - It Takes Two Into The Woods - Last Midnight Into The Woods - Maybe They're Magic Into The Woods - Maybe They're Magic Into The Woods - Moments In The Woods Into The Woods - No More Into The Woods - No One Is Alone Into The Woods - Prologue Act I Into The Woods - Stay With Me Into The Woods - Witche's Lament Into The Woods - Witche's Lament Into The Woods - Your Fault It Was Pancho Villa Jonathan Kozol Was Right... Lake Michigan Light My Candle Little Shop Of Horrors Mama Mia Memory New Music One Man Board Of Directors One Man Board Of Directors One Song Glory Pippin- Glory Part I Police Song Ragtime-Buffalo Nickel Photoplay, Inc. Ragtime-Gliding Ragtime-He Wanted To Say Ragtime-Make Them Hear You Ragtime-Our Children Ragtime-The Night That Goldman Spoke At Union Squa Red Line Rent Restless Seasons Of Love The Kitchen Floor The Nautical Mile The Pope Of Chili-Town This Routine Under My Belt Upton We'll Have A Party We'll Have A Party What Happened? What You Own - Rent
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La Vie Boheme - RENT
La Boheme - Brown Eyed Girls
Tune Up #2 - Various Artists
Sing C'est La Vie - Sonny & Cher
Mim\u00c3\u00ac \u00c3\u02c6 Una Civetta...
Sing C'est La Vie - Sonny & Cher
Dans Ma Ville - Keren Ann
La Boheme - Charles Aznavour
La Boheme - Liza Minnelli
Mim\u00c3\u00ac \u00c3\u02c6 Tanto Malata!...
Musetta! Testa Adorata - Andrea Bocelli
Mimì � Tanto Malata! - Andrea Bocelli
Che Ha Detto Il Medico? - Andrea Bocelli
Les Colonies - Mc Solaar
Le Onze - Fabe
Les Dalton - Joe Dassin
Avec Ce Soleil - Edith Piaf
Che Gelida Manina - Andrea Bocelli
La Diva/La Boheme - Celine Dion
La Vie, L'amour - Edith Piaf
La Vie, L'amour - Edith Piaf
Les Passantes - Iggy Pop
Et Maintenant - Candan Ercetin
Chaque Fois Que J'aime - Charles Aznavour
Chaque Fois Que J'aime - Charles Aznavour
O Soave Fanciulla - Andrea Bocelli
La Vie - Renato Zero
Avant La Guerre - Charles Aznavour
La Boheme (Italiano) - Charles Aznavour
La Diva\/La Boheme - Celine Dion
C'Est Bon La Vie - Nana Mouskouri
Sì. Mi Chiamano Mimì...
S\u00c3\u00ac. Mi Chiamano Mim\u00c3\u00ac...
La Vie - Michel Fugain
Toute La Vie - Claude François
Où Est Ma Vie ? - Isabelle Boulay
Voice Mail #1 - Various Artists
J'aime La Vie - Kim Sandra
Jules Lost His Jewels - Ariel Pink
C'est La Vie - Emerson, Lake & Palmer
C'est la Vie Always 21 - ACE OF BASE
Chute - Louise Attaque
C'est La Vie - Emerson, Lake & Palmer
C'est La Vie - Emerson, Lake & Palmer
C'est La Vie - Lake Emerson & Palmer
La Vie en Rose - Grace Jones
La Vie en Rose [Album Version] - Grace Jones
C'est La Vie - Vanessa Carlton
C'est La Vie - Vanessa Carlton
C'est La Vie - Hubert Kah
La Vraie Vie - Mireille Mathieu
Amoureuse De La Vie - Dalida
Seul Dans Sa Catégorie - Ariane Moffatt
Zombie - Maître Gims
Et Maintenant - Mireille Mathieu
Ma Vie M'appartient - Mireille Mathieu
C'est La Vie - L'arc-En-Ciel
C'est La Vie - L'arc~en~ciel
C'est La Vie - L'arc~en~ciel
C'est La Vie - Kah Hubert
La Vie Se Chante, La Vie Se Pleure - Joe Dassin
A La Vie - Jaki Graham
C'est La Vie - Karel Gott
C'est La Vie - ACE OF BASE
Ame Caline - Michel Polnareff
Ainsi Va La Vie - Yannick Noah
C'Est La Vie - Martin Solveig
La Vie Qui Gagne - Chimène Badi
La Vie Qui Gagne - Chimène Badi
C'est La Vie - Fancy
La Vie Ne Vaut Rien - Alain Souchon
C'Est la Vie Always 21 - Ace of Base
Hymne à La Vie - Ange
C'est La Vie My Baby - Ishtar
L'espionne Lesbianne - Ange
Hymne À la Vie - Ange
Hymne à la Vie - Ange
La vie c'est la vie - Henri Salvador
La Vie Rien Ne La Vaut (Avec Charles Vanel)...
Masiteladi - Amadou & Mariam
Sur Notre Histoire - Alain Barrière
Rosalie, C'est La Vie - Adamo
Hymne A La Vie - Ange
The Last Laugh Of The Laughter - Travis
La Vie en Rose - Neil Innes
Les Deux Printemps - Daniel Belanger
Vois Sur Ton Chemin - Beyoncé
C'est La Vie - Sarah Vaughan
Laisse-La Vivre - Veronique Sanson
Rosalie - Adamo
Je N'oublie Pas - Michel Sardou
Je N'oublie Pas - Michel Sardou
Masiteladi - Amadou & Mariam
Corsica (Korsika) - Mireille Mathieu
Que fait la vie? - Vanessa Paradis
Que Fait la Vie - Vanessa Paradis
La Vie Est Là - Lara Fabian
En Amour - Celine Dion
C'Est La Vie (With Natacha Atlas)...
Pas besoin de permis - Vanessa Paradis
Les Feuilles Mortes - In-Grid
C'est Beau La Vie - Jean Ferrat
Cent Fois Ma Vie - Mireille Mathieu
Lenine - Michel Sardou
Las Vegas - Pascal Obispo
Pronto - Lacrim
Ici Ou Ailleurs - Lofofora
C'est La Vie - Cheb Khaled
Boheme - Charles Aznavour
La Vie - Joe Dassin
Pendant Que Je Chante - Pascal Obispo
Je Sais Si Peu - Elodie Frégé
J'avais Reve D'une Autre Vie - Katherine Jenkins
C'Est Ma Vie - Michel Sardou
C'Est Ma Vie - Michel Sardou
Ballade Pour Toi (Ce Que Je Cherche Est En Toi)...
Ballade Pour Toi - Michel Polnareff
Ode À la Vie - Alain Bashung
Amor Tambien - France Gall
Amor Tambien - Gall France
A Ma Maniere - Dalida
L'histoire De La Vie - Walt Disney
L'Histoire De La Vie (Circle Of Life) - Zaho
Un Jour Viendra - Yelle
La Vie En Rose - Katherine Jenkins
La Vie En Rose featEdith Piaf (French)...
La vie en rose - ANDREA BOCELLI
Vis Ta Vie - Michel Fugain
Mon Ange - Markize
Danse Ta Vie (What A Feeling) - Sylvie Vartan
La vie est belle - Christophe Willem
Hasard - Ariane Moffatt
Apres La Vie - Lifehouse
Changeait La Vie - Jean-Jacques Goldman
Une vie - Booba
La Vie en Rose - Thalia
Marabout - Serge Gainsbourg
Mon Eldorado - Yannick Noah
Mon Eldorado (Du Soleil) - Yannick Noah
Je Ne Suis Que Malheureuse - Mireille Mathieu
Sing C Est La Vie - Frank Alamo
Ailleurs - Ben L’oncle Soul
Même Si - Demis Roussos
C'est la vie - Blue System
C\u2019est La Vie - Booba
Pourtant - Roch Voisine
La Vie En Rose - Dalida
La Vie en Rose (Edith Piaf cover) - Iggy Pop
La Vie En Rose - Iggy Pop
C'est L'amour Et La Vie Que Je Te Dois...
C'est L'amour Et La Vie Que Je Te Dois...
La Vie En Rose - Yves Montand
Ailleurs - Keren Ann
Amen - Azucar Moreno
Amen - Azucar Moreno
Feuilles-Oh - Art Garfunkel
Rainy Day - American Steel
La Vie En Rose - Melissa Manchester
Rendez-Moi La Vie - L5
Vivre Sa Vie - Bruno Pelletier
La Vie en Rose [English Version] - Dionne Warwick
Gitan - Garou
Danser La Vie - Tina Arena
Comme de l'Eau - Florent Pagny
Garder Cette Vie - Sheryfa Luna
Dancing Disco - France Gall
Rien N'est Parfait - Tal
Qui Dit Qui Rit - Alain Souchon
The American Woman - Cake Like
La Vie Est Laide - Jean Leloup
La Vie En Rose - Piaf Édith
Sur Mesure - Florent Pagny
Plus simple que çà - Natasha St. Pier
Poussière De Pollen - Veronique Sanson
Marie Merveille, Marie Bonheur - Yves Duteil
La Vie En Rose - Edith Piaf
Et La Vie Continuera - Dalida
Demain, L'On Se Marie - Jacques Brel
Demain, L'On Se Marie - Jacques Brel
La Belle Vie - Sacha Distel
Mao Boy - Indochine
Traveling On - Kongos
Debbie - Damien Saez
La Vie A Des Cha?nes - Damour France
C'est Pas Une Vie - Yelle
L'Été Revient - Archimède
La Jardin Du Luxembourg - Joe Dassin
Je N'ai Qu'une Vie - Mireille Mathieu
Paris Arm - Team Sleep
La Belle Vie - Forever Gentlemen
Le Festin - Camille
Simple Vie - K-Maro
Y'a d'La Rumba dans l'Air - Alain Souchon
Annajo - Chancellorpink
Chante Comme Si Tu Devais Mourir Demain...
