LyricMeaning

Pirelli's Miracle Elixir
Sweeney Todd

Ladies and gentlemen

May I have your attention please?

Do you wake every morning in shame and despair

To discover your pillow is covered with hair

What ought not to be there?


Well, ladies and gentlemen

From now on you can waken with ease

You need never again have a worry or care

I will show you a miracle marvelous rare

Gentlemen, you are about to see something

What rose from the dead on the top of my head


Scarcely a month ago, gentlemen

I was suddenly struck with a rare oriental disease

Though the finest physicians in London were called

I awakened one morning amazed and appalled

To discover with dread that my head was as bald


As a novice's knees I was dying of shame

Till a gentleman came, an illustrious barber, Pirelli by name

He gave me a liquid as precious as gold

I rubbed it in daily like what I was told

And behold, less than thirty days old


'Twas Pirelli's Miracle elixir

That's what did the trick, sir

True, sir, true, was it quick, sir?

Did it in a tick, sir

Just like an elixir ought to do


How about a bottle, mister?

Only costs a penny, guaranteed

Penny buys a bottle, I don't know

You don't need, ah, let's go


Go ahead and tug, sir

Go ahead, sir, harder

Does Pirelli's stimulate the growth, sir?

You can have my oath, sir


'Tis unique, rub a minute

Stimulatin', in'it?

Soon you'll have to thin it

Once a week


Gently dab it, gets to be a habit

Soon there'll be enough, sir

Somebody can grab it

See that chap with hair like Shelley's?

You can tell 'e's used Pirelli's


Let me have a bottle

Make that two

Pardon me, sir, what's that awful stink?

Smells to me like piss and looks like ink


Buy Pirelli's Miracle elixir

Anything what's slick, sir

Soon sprouts curls, try Pirelli's

When they see how thick, sir

You can have your pick, sir, of the girls


See Pirelli's Miracle elixir

Grow a little wick, sir

Then some fuzz, the Pirelli's

Soon'll make it thick, sir

Like a good elixir always does


Trust Pirelli's

If your hair is sick, sir

Fix it in a nick, sir

Don't look grim

Just Pirelli's miracle elixir

That'll do the trick, sir


What about the money?

If you've got a kick, sir

What about the money?

Where is this Pirelli?

Go and get Pirelli


Tell it to the mixer

Of the miracle elixir

If you've got a kick, sir

What about our money?

Where is this Pirelli?


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Lyrics by Sweeney Todd

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