Nineteen Years Young
The Carrier

I'm nineteen years young and my mind is weathered. nI'm nineteen years young and things aren't getting any clearer. nSince '88 I've felt this hate suffocated by my inability to overcome the unknown.nOnly fragments of memories that I can't piece together.nI can't turn inwards because I can't see nbecause I can't fully understand who I was born to be.nnI have a family who will always love the me that they never see. nMy tormented soul ravages me nafter a lifetime of prayingnI'll come to an end nonly to find my years of praying have fallen to deaf ears. nIdeas come from nowhere.nWhere was the beginning of it all. nnI've cheated, nI've lied, nI've stole, nI've sold my soul, nall in hopes of ending it all.nThe future I see looks bright but the lights are dimming. nnI'd pray to Him if I thought He was real.nI wouldn't question Him if he could make me feel nanything other than apathy nanything other than certain tragedy. nI've got not other choice but to have faith in life regardless of the end.nnI must live my life.nI'm seeing the world in black and white.nAs if everyday I live is a memory of another life. nAs if everyday I live is from another's life.

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