LyricMeaning

My Last Landlady
Amanda Palmer & Neil Gaiman

And this, is probably something you won’t have heard before. And it’s a ghost story, of sorts. It’s set in Brighton, in England, in those little seaside towns where it’s not Californian At all. It’s always grey and it’s always wet, and the beaches are not sand they’re hard pebbles.


And it’s called, my Last Landlady.


My last landlady was nothing like you. Nothing at all alike. Her rooms, were damp. The breakfasts were unpleasant, oily eggs, leathery sausages, a baked orange sludge of beans. Her face could have curdled beans.


She was not kind, you strike me as a kind person. I hope your world is kind. By which I mean, I’ve heard we see the world not as it is, but as we are.


A saint sees a world full of saints. A killer sees only murderers, and victims. I see the dead.


My landlady told me she would not willingly walk upon the beach, for it was littered with weapons. Huge hand fitting rocks, each ripe for striking. She only had a little money in her purse, she said, but they would take the notes, oily from her fingers, and leave the purse underneath the stone.


Oh and the water, she would say, hold anyone under. Chill salt water, grey and brown and heavy as sin. All ready to drag you away. Children went like that so easily, in the sea. When they were surplus to requirements.


Or had learned awkward facts they might be inclined to pass onto those who would listen.


There were people on the west pier the night it burned, she said.

The curtains were dusty lace, and blocked each town grimed view. Sea view!


That was a laugh.


The morning she saw me twitch her curtains to see if it was properly raining she rapped my knuckles.


“Mr. Maroney, in this house we do not look at the sea through the windows. It brings bad luck.

She said:


“People come to the beach to forget their problems. It’s what we do, it’s what the English do. You chop your girlfriend up because she’s pregnant and you're worried what the wife would say if she found out.


Or you poison the banker you're sleeping with for the insurance, marry a dozen men in a dozen little seaside towns, margate, torquay.


Lord love them, but why must the stand so still?”


When I asked her who, who stood so still, she told me it was:


“None of my beeswax, and to be sure to be out of the house between midday and four, as the child was coming and I would be underfoot, and in the way.



I’ve been in that BnB for three weeks now, looking for permanent diggs. I paid in cash, the other guests were loveless folk on holiday, and did not care if this was Hove or hell.


We’d eat our slippery eggs together, I’d watch them promenade if the day was fine, or huddle under awnings if it rained. My landlady cared only that they were out of the house until teatime


A retired dentist down from Edgbaston, for a week of loneliness and drizzle by the sea, would nod at me over breakfast or if we passed on the sea front. The bathroom was down the hall. I was up in the night. I saw him, in his dressing gown, I saw him kncok upon her door, I saw it open. He went in. There’s nothing more to tell.


My landlady was there at breakfast, bright and cheery. She said the dentist had left early. She said the dentist had left early, owing to a death in the family.


She told the truth.


That night the rain rattled the windows.


A week past and it was time, I told my landlady I’d found a place and would be moving on and paid the rent. That night she gave me a glass of whiskey. And then another. And said I had always been her favourite.


And that she was a woman, of needs. A flower ripe for plucking. And she smiled, and it was the whiskey that made me nod, and think that she was perhaps a wit less sour of face and form, and so I knocked upon her door that night.


She opened it.


I remember the whiteness of her skin. The whiteness of her gown, I can’t forget.


“Mr. Maroney.” She whispered.


I reached for her.


And that was, forever, that.


The channel was cold, and silt wet, and she filled my pockets with rocks to keep me under. So when they find me, if they find me, I could be anyone, Crab eaten flesh, and sea-washed bones and all. I think I shall like it here, in my new diggs, here on the seashore. And you’ve made me welcome, you’ve all made me feel, so welcome. How many of us, are there here? I see us, but I cannot count. We cluster on the beach and stare at the light in the uppermost room of her house. We see the curtains twitch, we see a white face glaring through the grime, she looks afraid, as if one loveless day we might start up the pebbles towards her, to rebuke her for her lack of hospitality, to tear her for her bad breakfasts and sour holidays.


And our fates.


We stand so still.


Why must we stand, so still.


  Purchase "My Last Landlady"   Purchase Entire Album   Email Video to Friends   Play Youtube "My Last Landlady" Video   Play Spotify "My Last Landlady" Song   View Wikipedia "My Last Landlady" Entry   Receive Emails for Future Amanda Palmer & Neil Gaiman Lyrics

Email:

  Link to "My Last Landlady"   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Lyrics For You

Loading...

Lyrics by Amanda Palmer & Neil Gaiman

  (Introduction To Broken Heart Stew)   (Introduction To Dear Old House)   (Introduction To Gaga, Palmer, Madonna; a Polemic)   (Introduction To I Google You)   (Introduction To I Will Follow You Into the Dark)   (Introduction To Judy Blume)   (Introduction To the Problem With Saints)   Ask Neil and Amanda   Do You Swear To Tell the Truth, The Whole Truth & ...   Electric Blanket (A Duet, Amanda Palmer and Jason ...   Feminine Endings   Gaga, Palmer, Madonna; a Polemic   I Google You   I Want You, but I Don't Need You   I Will Follow You Into the Dark (for Ashlie Gough)   I Will Write In Words of Fire   In Relig Odhrain   Judy Blume   Look Mummy, No Hands   Map of Tasmania   Margaret Cho Introduces the Show   Poem for Amanda   Poem for Neil (By Amanda)   The Day the Saucers Came   The Man Who Forgot Ray Bradbury   The Problem With Saints   The Ryhme Maidens   The View from the Cheap Seats   Ukulele Anthem

Related Songs

  Santa Claus - Sonny Boy Williamson  Electric Landlady - Purson  Special Secret Song Inside (Version 3)...  One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer...  1 Bourbon, 1 Scotch, 1 Beer - George Thorogood  One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer [Live]...  The Landlady - Phish  Landlady Song - Antje Duvekot  One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer [Live]...  I Can't Stand It - Velvet Underground  Possessed By A Landlady Called Jackie...  Special Secret Song Inside(Version 3)...  The Wild Rover - Týr  We'll Never Pass This Way Again - Maccoll Kirsty  Wild Rover - Seekers  Binnel Bay - A Band Of Bees  Binnel Bay - The Bees  All I Ever Wanted - Maccoll Kirsty  So Much Trouble - George Thorogood  Hey Tuti Tatey - Burns Robert  One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer - Glee  1 Bourbon, 1 Scotch, 1 Beer - Glee  Jetplane - Martin Finke  Big Dipper - Jethro Tull  The One And Only - Maccoll Kirsty  It's Raining Today - Scott Walker  Piss and Vinegar - The Legendary Shack Shakers  Social Disease - Elton John, Bernie Taupin...  A Threat and a Promise - Belay My Last  The Downfall - Belay My Last  Death Unto Others - Belay My Last  Cycles of Suffering - Belay My Last  One More Foot in the Grave - Belay My Last  Hold Your Breath - My Last Fall  Wish I Was You - My Last Mistake  The Story Of Us - My Last Mistake  For You - My Last Mistake  Everyday - My Last Mistake  Maybe, Maybe Not - My Last Mistake  An Inconvenience [To a Whore] - Belay My Last  Accepting Fate - Belay My Last  Mannequin Smile - Belay My Last  Miss America - Belay My Last  Watch Your Mouth, Sweetheart - Belay My Last  Sleepwalk - Belay My Last  Piss and Vinegar - Th' Legendary Shack Shakers  Wild Rover - Dubliners  The Wild Rover - Irish Music  The Wild Rover - The High Kings  The Troopers Horse - Lloyd  Halloween - Maccoll Kirsty  Spacy Basement - Royal City  Wild Rover - The Dubliners  The Wild Rover - The Dubliners  Wild Rover [Live] - The Dubliners  The Wild Rover [#][*] - The Dubliners  The Wild Rover [#][*] - The Dubliners  The Wild Rover - Luke Kelly  The Wild Rover - Dubliners  The Wild Rover - Dropkick Murphys  Wild Rover - Dropkick Murphys  The Wild Rover (Traditional) - Dropkick Murphys  Nancy Whiskey - Shane Macgowan And The Popes  Maybe It's Imaginary - Maccoll Kirsty  Intermission: You're Moving out Today...  A Colloquial Dream (Take 6) - Charles Mingus  The Wild Rover - Týr Faroese  The Wild Rover - Tyr  I Can't Stand It - Velvet Underground  My Way Home - Maccoll Kirsty  Wild Rover - Clancy Brothers  The Wild Rover - The Pogues  Wild Rover - Pogues  My Last - Kid Ink  My Last - D-Pryde  My Last - Chris Brown  My Last - Jay Park  My Last - Conor Maynard  My Last - Big Sean  How Stands The Glass Around Why Soldiers Why...  House Keys - Brother Ali  The Wild Rover - Sinead O'connor  The Wild Rover - Sinead O'Connor  The Wild Rover - Sinead Oconnor  Angels In Harlem - Doctor Clayton...  Real Nighttime - Game Theory  Party On Your P***y - Red Hot Chili Peppers  Wild Rover (no Nay Never) - Clancy Brothers  You're Moving Out Today - Carole Bayer Sager  Stay True - With My Last Breath  Sick Reality - With My Last Breath  Blanket - With My Last Breath  Rescue Me - With My Last Breath  Never Meant A Word You Said - With My Last Breath  The Inevitable End - With My Last Breath  House Lady - Brownie McGhee  Social Disease - Elton John  I Can't Stand It - Lou Reed  I Can't Stand It - Lou Reed  The Wild Rover - Shane McGowan  I Gotta Move Out Of This Neighborhood - B.B. King  Lying Down - Maccoll Kirsty  Finale: Up The Ladder To The Roof\/boogie Woogie B...  My Affair - Maccoll Kirsty  Vietcong Blues - Junior Wells  Vietcong Blues - Buddy Guy  Independent ( Feat. Travis Kr8ts) - Master P  My First, My Last - O-Town  Joe Meek's Blues - Graham Parker  The Hardest Word - Maccoll Kirsty  My Last Stand - Walls Of Jericho  My Last Name - Brad Passons  My Last Regret - Last Tuesday  My Last Affair - Peggy Lee  My last rites - Finn.  My Last Hope - The Shannons  My Last Mistake - I Call Fives  My Last Words - aKING  My Last Suicide - The Maple Room  My Last Day - Raised Fist  My Last Stand - Where I Stand  My Last Letter - Waiting Till Forever  My Last Semester - The Wonder Years  My Last Words - Before The Torn  My Last Amen - Downhere  My Last Words - Beyond Fear  My Last Affair - Joe Williams  My Last Breath - Holding Onto Hope  My Last Goodbye - Noctura  My Last Goodbye - Rocom  My Last Goodbye - Flymore  My Last Way - SToa  My Last Affair - Teddy Wilson  My Last Affair - Count Basie  My Last Affair - Ella Fitzgerald & Her Savoy Eight  My Last Affair - Mildred Bailey  My Last Act - Vic Chesnutt  My Last Breath - Helicon Blue  My Last Mistake - The Conceited  My Last Breath - made of hate  My Last Mistake - Dan Auerbach  My Last Serenade - Joey Moe  My Last Breath - Big Electric Cat  My Last Letter - Heroes Of Heartache  My Last Try - Tinchy Stryder  My Last Girlfriend [*] - Snow Patrol  My Last Chance - Marina City  My Last Sunrise - Demons and Wizards  Be My Last - Hikaru Utada  My Last Creation - Gojira  My Last Words - Crematory  My Last Fight - Love Psychedelico  My Last Freestyle - Chris Brown  My Last Name - Keith Urban  My Last Words - Megadeth  My Last Girlfriend - Snow Patrol  My Last (Single) - Big Sean  My Last Farewell - Galneryus  My Last Goodbye - Lacrimosa  My Last Day - Gary Numan  My Last Beauty - Caliban  My Last Journey - Ablaze My Sorrow  My Last Affair - Billie Holiday  Be My Last - Utada Hikaru  My Last Regret - Robert Cray  My Last Midnight - The Risk Taken  My Last Request - David Cook  My Last Goodbye - Julia Fordham  My Last Tequila - Face Down  My Last Chance - Lil B  My Last Sunrise - Blind Guardian  My Last Words - Esham  My Last Journey - Ablaze My Sorrow  My Last Journey - Abigor  My Last Cigarette - K.D. Lang  My Last Thug - Lumidee  My Last Nerve - Exodus  My Last Affair - Ella Fitzgerald  My Last Chance - Marvin Gaye  My Last Serenade - Killswitch Engage  My Last Breath - Evanescence  My Last Confession - As Likely As Not  My Last Mistake - Tremonti  'my Last Words' - Megadeth  My Last Sunrise - Demons & Wizards  My Last Heartbeat - Rick Springfield  My Last Farewell - Dream Theater  My Last Page - Kolohe Kai  My Last Sunrise - Cain's Dinasty  My Last Wish - Angela Brown  My Last Try - Katy B  My Last Sunrise - Demons & Wizards  My Last Breath - Valley's Eve  My Last Words - Seasons After  My Last Date - Blondie  My Last Yeehaw - Cowboy Troy  My Last Joy - Fold Zandura  My Last Affair - Howlin' Wolf  My Last Tango - Nerina Pallot  My Last Goodbye - Nailpin
  Please consider supporting this site by Clicking Here and Bookmarking whenever you search and shop Amazon. It costs you nothing but it supports us and gives us credit and we appreciate it greatly.