New in town? Got it all, ya wanna buy a gram?Funny accent, a Russian in Amsterdam?Looking for a job or need a place to stay?Go see Kashei...What the hell, I said, how bad can it be?And checked the address the guy gave to meThe letters were smudged, Dead knight district?!?A name for a derelict...Zdrastvujtje! My name is IvanIs this the right place? Im here to see a manA Mr Kashchei, I was invited inTo The House of Sin...Then the world exploded, the only thing I recallBefore I woke up, tied to a concrete wallLet me introduce myself and welcome to my clubIm your local BeelzebubWhat am I doing here?What in the name of a HunPowder all around meSmoke that makes me dizzyUnfamiliar devicesWomen smiling temptingSyringes injectingLies and pseudo paradisesFake paradises...While tied to the wall, Ivan, who was to naive to fathom the shit he was in, made semi-romantic moves (well, since he was tied up) on one of the girls in Kashcheis harem. Ivans innocent, Irkutskian eyes made a monumental impression on the somewhat jaded girl and she rediscovered feelings she thought were dead and buried a long ago. Love was in the maruana air...The evil Mr Kashchei and his sinister drug pushers, whom he provisioned with free dope to keep them ignorant and dumb, had settled back for a few Zs. Meanwhile, Ivan was cut loose by his new found love and they decided it was time they leave. So did the other girls who were fed up spending time in the thick of things.All of a sudden Kashchei opened his eyes and instantly aware of what was going down he unleashed his thunderous rage. No one fucks with Kashchei! Nikto ne ebat so mnoj! Especially not whores and cocksuckers named Ivan! , he screamed furiously, his appearance all the more frightening.A few of the pushers vaguely percieved the tumult but were too stoned to ascertain the circumstances and retired, contented, to their state of inhaled bliss.However, one of the girls knew about Kashcheis Achilles heel; (ironically) that hard boiled Satanic, son-of-a-bitch, son-of-a-Hun was allergic. She managed to sneak out the back door in search of some kind of animal, preferably a cat or a dog. In a streetcorner lay a Dutch shepherd with orange fur and a puzzled look that became more puzzled as the girl picked him up and dashed back to The House of Sin. The dog, friendly by nature, mistook Kashcheis shouting and waving for an invitation to play and leaped up on his chest causing an immediate hypersensitive reaction, leaving the drug dealing pimp panting on the floor, Delft-blue in the face...Ivan and the former 13 prostitues escaped and took the first available flight out of the country, whose destination happened to be Portugal. The heroic dog was quickly named Lucifers (Fire in Dutch) at the airport before checking into quarantine.Ivan and company now live as suburban idiots, and love it, in a commune outside of Lisbon.Mr Kashchei got arrested but avoided custody since drug dealing hardly aint a crime in the Netherlands anymore. He later moved to Copenhagen and became a politician. His pusher dudes are still wandering about the streets of Amsterdam in their purple haze...
Related Songs
Behind the Door - Circle Jerks
Behind the Door [*] - Circle Jerks
The Prostitute Song - South Park
Prostitute Song - South Park
Halloween – Flabz, Dr Psycho, Josiah Matrix & Mr...
Same Old Same – Mr 13, Ceezlin, Josiah Matrix, &...
I Can’t Keep – Mr 13, Money Mitch, Josiah Matr...
Prostitute I - The Wolfgang Press
What You Drinking – Tony D, Locksmyth, Mr 13. Dr...
Prostitute Laundry - Sifl And Olly
MY NEW HOUSE - The Fall
My New House - Fall
The Green River Murderer (He's Still Out There)...
The Green River Murder (Hes Still Out There)...
Prostitute II - The Wolfgang Press
Crowded Forum - The Chinkees
Hawthorne - Mat Kearney
Jennifer Jason Leigh - J Church
My Very Own Apple Tree - Bracket
Anthony Boy - Chuck Berry
Down South - Sonny Boy Williamson
Cover Of The Rolling Stone - Dr. Hook
Hustla - Lil' Keke
Bikhra Hoon Main - Atif Aslam
Lucky Number Thirteen - Cheez
Bye Bye Na - Rivermaya
London (13 Demon Street) - Necrophagia
13 Women - Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
13 Freaks - Scum of the Earth
13 Little Dolls - Sophie Ellis Bextor
Christmastime - Arrogant Worms, The
Christmastime - Arrogant Worms
13 Days - Marion Raven
THE MOTHER OF PROSTITUTES - Mouth Of The South
13 X Forever - Garbage
Body Scout - Pig Destroyer
I'm 13! - Emma Liana
I Watch The Cars - Robyn Hitchcock
Thought I Told You That - Anastacia
Mr. Cacciatore - The Mad Conductor
Darker Side Of Night - John Entwistle
13 Valentines - MatchLockAnthem
What They Do - Khia
Becoming A Man - Aaron Simon Gross
Lucky 13 - Collide
There Is A Town - Nick Cave
Parties for Prostitutes - Brody Dalle
Dream a Dream - Billy Gilman
Fear of Falling Under - Darren Hayes
I Can't Help Falling In Love With You...
Lucky #13 - Nonpoint
13 Wonderful Love Songs - A House
That's what you are - Amerie
Para Que Bailen - Daddy Yankee
Like A Boy - Main Version - Ciara
Another Day That Time Forgot - Neil Diamond
10 flowers, 13 clouds and a string - Howie Beck
Que Paso! - Daddy Yankee
It's Only Pain - Katie Melua
Dream A Dream (Charlotte Church with Billy Gilman)...
God Help Me... I Love Rock - N - Roll...
You Don't You Won't - Billy Gilman
13 Days - Dirt Bike Annie
More & More - Carly Simon
Monster 13 - Murderdolls
Get Up - Main Version - Ciara
Number One - Paramore
Gonna' Find Love - Billy Gilman
Por Eso Estoy Pegao - Daddy Yankee
Cojela Que Va Sin Jockey - Daddy Yankee
Time After Time - Carly Simon
El Senor de la noche - Don Omar
Me, Myself & I - Billie Holiday
Prayer To Stpeter - Edwin Mccain
Minor Earth Major - A-ha
Santa. Com Aka I'm Gonna Email Santa...
Te Quiero Puta Translation - Rammstein
Lift Me Up - Josh Kelley
Undercover - Ciara
Say I - Christina Milian, - Christina Milian
Only Opne - Darren Hayes
Angels We Have Heard On High - Billy Gilman
Telling You Stories - Dan Fogelberg
You Don't Feel The Same - Carly Simon
There Is A Kingdom - Nick Cave
One - Christina Milian
Caliente - Daddy Yankee
I'll Be Around - Carly Simon
Music 4 The Young & Foolish - Ben Lee
Wolt Ihr Das Bett in Flamen Sehen - Rammstein
The Numbers Song - Roger Miller
Perreando - Don Omar
Perreando [Remix] - Don Omar
New Crap #637 - Ten Boy Summer
We 're All In This Together - Ben Lee
Get It Fit In - Ciara
Rudolph The Red - Nosed Reindeer - Billy Gilman
Coming Around Again / Itsy Bitsy Spider...
Future Holds a Lion's Heart - Darren Hayes
M - a - N - Chante Moore
Intro / Medley - Michael Jackson
Going On 13 - Elaiza
Letchu Go - Janet Jackson
When I First Came To Town - Nick Cave
I'd Rather It Was You - Carly Simon
Why Judy Why - Billy Joel
Believer (from - Christina Milian
Point Me Over - Amerie
After the Afterglow - The Comas
Posession - Billy Gilman
When You Taught Me How To Dance - Katie Melua
Ain't No Crime - Billy Joel
On & On - Ben Lee
Led by Arrogance - Bloody Donation
Truley, Madley, Deeply - Cascada
Almost Over Getting You - Billy Gilman
Intermedio 'gavilan' - Daddy Yankee
I've Changed - Jaheim
Away in a Manger - Billy Gilman
Back The Way (dottie's Point Of View - Carly Simon
I Don't Want To Hear Any More - Eagles
Trifflin' - Keyshia Cole
Mis Dias Sin Ti - Daddy Yankee
I Got It Bad And That Ain't Good - Carly Simon
Guyapuil - Don Omar
Tell Me More & More - Billie Holiday
Whiny Britches - Disciple
Cancion De Amor (On King Of Kings Live) - Don Omar
The Truth About Johnny - The Raveonettes
Jefe - Daddy Yankee
Help Me Through the Night - Eagles
Who's Gonna Ride - Christina Milian, , Three 6 Maf...
Dale Cliente - Daddy Yankee
Crisis Site 13 - Terry Allen
Damn You Get To Me - Carly Simon
The Recollection Facility pt. 3 - Pharoahe Monch
Sometimes (Mix Number 9) - Erykah Badu
T. L. C. - Big Daddy Kane
By Virtue Of Your Faith - Billy Gilman
Halfway 'round The World - Carly Simon
13 Reasons - Art Paul Schlosser
Unlucky 13 - Devildriver
Is This How Love Is Suppose To Feel? - Ben Lee
THE HEALER / HIP HOP - Erykah Badu
One Things Left To Do - Edwin Mccain
I'll Just Remember You - Carly Simon
I've Got To Make It 'till Summer - Billy Gilman
People Ain't No Good - Nick Cave
Caserios Number 2 - Don Omar
Solido - Daddy Yankee
Hang on Sloopy - Cyndi Lauper
Wollt Ihr Das Bett in In Flammen Sehen - Rammstein
Forecast - Amerie
Somethings I Know - Billy Gilman
13 and Good - Boogie Down Productions
Theres A Reason For It - A-ha
Didn't Hear That From Me - Josh Kelley
Swingset Assassin - Two Cow Garage
You Just Don't Get It - Jaheim
Countdown....Planet 13...
Didn't I? - Carly Simon
Sleigh Ride (Billy Gilman with Charlotte Church)...
Johnny's Got a Gun - Cat Power
Hate x 13 - Scum of the Earth
Baila Girla,todo Hombre Llorando Por Ti...
Wishing Well - Phantom Planet
Have Yourself A Merry Little - Chris Isaak
Say Hello - Drugstore
If I Only Had The Words (to Tell You) - Billy Joel
Southern Start - Billy Gilman
Etc. [Early Solo Demo][Alternate Take][#][*]...
Etc. - Dramarama
Etc - Dramarama
Two Hot Girls On A Hot Summer Night - Carly Simon
Sleigh Ride - Charlotte Church - Billy Gilman
Twenty - One - Eagles
Where's The Orchestra? - Billy Joel
What Has She Got - Carly Simon
From Roots To Fruits - Black Eyed Peas
Rockin' in The Free World - Billy Joel
Can't Leave Him Alone - Ciara
Happy Rappy - Das Racist
No Damn Good - Big Daddy Kane
Brother Man, Brother Man - Big Daddy Kane
Hey, Little Suzie - Billy Gilman
Don't Wrap It Up - Carly Simon
Something Wonderful - Carly Simon
Why Don't You Shut Up - Disciple
Word to The Mother - Big Daddy Kane
O'Malley's Bar - Nick Cave
Sun Is Always Blindind Me - Darren Hayes
I'm Gonna E-mail Santa (Billy Gilman and Rosie O'D...
Where Do We Go Now But Nowhere - Nick Cave
Age Ain't Nothin' Butta Number - Aaliyah
Your Congratulations - Erykah Badu
Heal Yourself - Big Daddy Kane
Noche Este Buena - Daddy Yankee - Don Omar
Very Special - Big Daddy Kane
Just Rhymin' With Biz - Big Daddy Kane
Travellin' Prayer - Billy Joel