Prime Ministers office, Prime Minister speakingGreetings? This is the secretary of warAt the state department of the United States?We have a problem, the companies want something doneAbout this sluggish world economic situation?Profits have been running a little thin latelyAnd we, we need to stimulate some growth?Now we know there's an alarmingly high number of young people Roaming around in your country with nothing to doBut stir up trouble for the police and damage private propertyIt doesn't look like they'll ever get a job?It's about time we did something constructive with these people?We've got thousands of 'em here too, they're crawling all overThe companies think it's time we all sit downHave a serious get-together and start another warThe President, he loves the idea!All those missiles streaming overhead to and froNapalm, people running down the road, skin on fireThe Soviets seem up for itThe Kremlin's been itching for the real thing for yearsWanna little going away present for [Incomprehensible]Hell, Afghanistan's no fun, so what do ya say?We don't even have to win this warWe just want to cut down on some of this excess population?Now look, just start up a draftDraft as many of those people as you canWe'll call up every last youngster we can get our hands onGive 'em an hour or two to learn how to use an automatic rifleAnd send 'em on their way, El Salvador, how 'bout Northern Ireland?Or a moderately repressive regime in South America?We'll just cook up a good Soviet threat story in the middle east?We need that oil, we had Libya all ready to goAnd Colonel Khadafy's hit squad didn't even show upI tell ya, that man is unreliableThe Russians had their fingers on the buttonJust like we did for that one?Now just think for a minute, we can make this war so big, so bigThe more people we kill in this war, the more the economy will prosperWe can get rid of practically everybody on your dole queueIf we plan this rightTake every loafer on welfare right off our computer rollsNow don't worry about demonstrations, just pump up your drug supplySo many people have hooked themselves on heroinAnd amphetamines since we took over, it's just like VietnamWe had everybody so busy with LSD they never got too strongKept the war functioning just fine?It's easy, we've got our college kids so interested in beerThey don't even care if we start manufacturing germ bombs againPut a nuclear stockpile in their back yardThey wouldn't even know what it looked likeSo how 'bout it? I mean, look, war is moneyThe arms manufacturers tell meUnless we get our bomb factories up to full productionThe whole economy is going to collapseThe Soviets are in the same boatWe all agree the time has come for the big oneSo what do ya say? [incomprehensible]That's excellent, we knew you'd agreeThe companies will be very pleased
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