Just Kids
Patti Smith

I was asleep when he died. I had called the hospital to say one more good night, but he had gone under, beneath layers of morphine. I held the receiver and listened to his labored breathing through the phone, knowing I would never hear him again.

Later I quietly straightened my things, my notebook and fountain pen. The cobalt inkwell that had been his. My Persian cup, my purple heart, a tray of baby teeth. I slowly ascended the stairs, counting them, fourteen of them, one after another. I drew the blanket over the baby in her crib, kissed my son as he slept, then lay down beside my husband and said my prayers. He is still alive, I remember whispering. Then I slept.

I awoke early, and as I descended the stairs I knew that he was dead. All was still save the sound of the television that had been left on in the night. An arts channel was on. An opera was playing. I was drawn to the screen as Tosca declared, with power and sorrow, her passion for the painter Cavaradossi. It was a cold March morning and I put on my sweater.

I raised the blinds and brightness entered the study. I smoothed the heavy linen draping my chair and chose a book of paintings by Odilon Redon, opening it to the image of the head of a woman floating in a small sea. Les yeux clos. A universe not yet scored contained beneath the pale lids. The phone rang and I rose to answer.

It was Robert’s youngest brother, Edward. He told me that he had given Robert one last kiss for me, as he had promised. I stood motionless, frozen; then slowly, as in a dream, returned to my chair. At that moment, Tosca began the great aria “Vissi d’arte.” I have lived for love, I have lived for Art. I closed my eyes and folded my hands. Providence determined how I would say goodbye.

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Lyrics by Patti Smith

1959 25th Floor 25th Floor (& High on Rebellion) 25th Floor (& High on Rebellion) 25th Floor High on Rebellion About A Boy After the Gold Rush Ain't It Strange Ain't It Strange Amerigo April Fool April Fool (Single) Are You Experienced? As The Night Goes By Ask The Angel Ask the Angels Babelogue Banga Because The Night Beneath The Southern Cross Birdland Blue Poles Boy Cried Wolf Break It Up Broken Flag Capital Letter Cartwheels Cash Changing Of The Guards Chiklets China Bird Come Back Little Sheba Come Back Little Sheba (Outtake) Constantine’s Dream Dancing Barefoot Dead City Dead City [Live] Dead To The World Death Singing Distant Fingers Distant Fingers (Demo) Don't Say Nothing Don't Say Nothing Dream Of Life Easter Elegie Everybody Hurts Everybody Wants To Rule The World Farewell Reel Fire of Unknown Origin Fireflies Frederick Free Money Fuji-san Gandhi Ghost Dance Gimme Shelter Glitter In Their Eyes Gloria Gloria: In Excelsis Deo; In Excelsis Deo\\ Gloria Godspeed Going Under Gone Again Gone Pie Grateful Gung Ho Helpless Hey Joe (Version) High On Rebellion Hymn It Takes Time Jubilee Kimberly Land Land:; Horses\\ Land Of A Thousand Dances\\ La Mer... Landmine Last Call Libbie's Song Libbie's Song Lo & Beholden Lo And Beholden Look At What Love Has Done Looking For You Looking For You (I Was) Maria Memento Mori Memorial Tribute Midnight Rider Mosaic Mother Rose My Blakean Year My Generation My Madrigal New Party Nine No Mistakes Notes To The Future One Voice Pastime Paradise Paths That Cross Peaceable Kingdom People Have the Power Persuasion Piss Factory Pissing In A River Poppies Privilege Privilege (Set Me Free) Pumping Pumping (My Heart) Radio Baghdad Radio Ethiopia/Abyssinia Radio Ethiopia\/Abyssinia Ravens Redondo Beach Revenge Rock N Roll Nigger Seneca Seven Ways of Going Smells Like Teen Spirit So You Wanna Be So You Wanna Be (A Rock 'N' Roll Star) So You Want To Be So You Want To Be (A Rock 'n Roll Star) So You Want To Be A Rock N Roll Star Somalia Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough Soul Kitchen Space Monkey Spell Strange Messengers Stride Of The Mind Summer Cannibals Tarkovsky (The Second Stop is Jupiter) The Boy In The Bubble The Jackson Song The Mermaid Song The Wicked Messenger This is the Girl Till Victory Trampin' Trampin' Trespassers Trespasses Up There Down There Upright Come Waiting Underground Walkin Blind Walkin' Blind Wave We Three When Doves Cry Where Duty Calls Whirl Away White Rabbit Wicked Messenger Wild Leaves Wing Wing [Live] Within You Without You Words Of Love

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