I'll tell you a story that happened to meOne day as I went down to Cork by the seaThe sun it was hot and the day it was warm,Says I a quiet pint wouldn't do me no harmI went in and I called for a bottle of stoutSays the barman, I'm sorry, all the beer is sold outTry whiskey or paddy, ten years in the woodSays I, I'll try cider, I've heard it was good.Oh never, Oh never, Oh never againIf I live to be a hundred or a hundred and tenI fell to the ground and I couldn't get upAfter drinking a quart of the Johnny Jump UpAfter downing the third I went out to the yardWhere I bumped into Brody, the big civic guardCome here to me boy, don't you know I'm the law?Well, I up with me fist and I shattered his jawHe fell to the ground with his knees doubled upBut it wasn't I hit him, 'twas Johnny Jump UpThe next thing I remember down in Cork by the seaWas a cripple on crutches and says he to meI'm afraid of me life I'll be hit by a carWon't you help me across to the Celtic Knot Bar?After downing a quart of that cider so sweetHe threw down his crutches and danced on his feetI went up the lee road, a friend for to seeThey call it the madhouse in Cork by the SeaButl when I got there, sure the truth I will tell,They had this poor bugger locked up in a cellSaid the guard, testing him, say these words if you can,Around the rugged rock the ragged rascal ranTell him I'm not crazy, tell him I'm not madIt was only a sip of the bottle I hadWell, a man died in the mines by the name of McNabbThey washed him and laid him outside on the slabAnd after the parlors measurements did takeHis wife brought him home to a bloody fine wakeTwas about 12 o'clock and the beer was highThe corpse sits up and says with a sighI can't get to heaven, they won't let me upTil I bring them a quart of the Johnny Jump UpSo if ever you go down to Cork by the seaStay out of the ale house and take it from meIf you want to stay sane don't you dare take a supOf that devil drink cider called Johnny Jump Up
Lyrics by St. Patrick's Day
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