I was laying in the waterDown in Islamoradasipping on a tropical drinkstarin' at the waterI was dreaming of this girl therewhen this shark swamright uo too my feetI said howdy Mr.SharkPlease don't you eat meHe said his name was IrvingAnd he wouldn'the said he came to talkhe was appalled that my jobdidn't get me all the womenthat I wantedIrving said I was too niceneeded meaness and more viceneed to knock them downand them try to stomp themI said that I would try itbut he really didn't but itcause he said that he wouldeat me if I didn'tchorus:Shark,Shark,Shark, Irving the sharkGod I want to be like himShark,Shark,Shark, Irving the sharkThey come back again and againSo later late that nightAfter playing I was tiredA pretty little ladylooked and smiledI walked up to herShe said she loved me sureSo I knocked her downAnd threw her in the waterShe screamed with delightSaid she loved a good fightShe grabbed mr by the hairAnd pulled me underShe stuffed coral in my mouthStarted knocking me aboutScreaming blackbelt third degreethat's my numberChorusThey found me the next dayBy a mooring in the bayI was half deadBut later I recoveredI went looking for that sharkGonna kill him sell his psrtsThen it dawned it was a dreamThat went asunderIf there's a moral to this songYou gotta keep it moving onJust stay the way you areAnd have a beerIf they think you gotta changeJust look at them real strangeAnd tell themThey can stick it in their earChorus:Shark,Shark,Shark, Irving the sharkI'm never gonna be like himShark,Shark,Shark,Irving the sharkThe women he attracts like Jungle JimSo I'll stay the way I amIf you like me that's just fineIf you don't life's a bitchBut I don't mindSo I'll keep on writing songstrying to make it right or wrongAnd someday you'll be movedWithin my songsChorus:Shark,Shark,Shark,Irving the sharkI'm never gonna be like himShark,Shark,Shark,Irving the sharkThe women he attractsLike Richard Simmons
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