Credit Crunch sounds like we made that name up for kidsnTo explain to them this where Father Christmas isnI'm sorry, Timmy, but Santa couldn't come this yearnDr. Credit Crunch has trapped him up in Castle FearnnBilly Santa has been eaten by the Credit CrunchernSo you'll have to keep your old bike, I'll just repair the puncturenAlthough I guess those fairy tales are really for the grown upsnSo no one has to take the blame and no one has to own upnnSee as a nation we went and tried to live above our meansnHad spending sprees and who was there accommodating these?nOver employed, over ambitious little companiesnSo now we'll suffer some unemployment and redundanciesnnAnd there ain't a solution, nJust a choice between some different evilsnA choice to be made by those publicly elected peoplenWho will always make the wrong choice in someone's eyes?nBut then I'm sure it can be sweetened with some tasteful liesnnWe either borrow more cash to keep our people spendingnStop the panic and stop the whole economy descendingnWhilst still maintaining restraints on public lendingnAlthough whether that’ll work is still simply atheory pendingnnBut it's either that or simply take away public resourcesnAnd start to charge for services already so exhaustednAmericanize and risk the financial demise that Bush didnWhich is certainly the rockier of both treacherous coursesnnBut then I guess the answer probably won't be found insidenSome lyrics written by some lanky bearded guynAnd now I must declare to those that have managed to listennThis is easily the most depressing verse I'veever writtennnnI devastatenNobody’s getting off easynDominatenI’m on your mind and on the TVnGimme the money and allnA pound of flesh and the checkbooknI dominatenLike a December-weather check-hooknnGimme what I can’t affordnI’ll borrow just a little more nI’ll write my own referencenThe banks are only glad to lendnThey wouldn’t if they shouldn’t nBut they do so I’ll just go and spendnWhat’s a subprime?nWhy’s it sound so threatening?nnEverybody’s chewing on the credit crunch nBut I don’t really get it, from what I read in The SunnIt said that now we own the banks, and that the bankers are punksnAnd, oh! That dude from X Factor with the bucktooth won!nnApparently we’ve been too materialisticnThings are gonna change, we’re now all so-shall-is-tic?nWoolworths shut down! nWhere will I go to shoplift liquorice?nStop, listen, will this effect the cost of getting pissed?nnIf it does I’ll just watch TVnIt’s not the source of our problems, nIt’s the cure and will stop themnYou’ll see home improvement, location speculation, take a loan, buy ahome, do it up and sell it onnnLike it’s a failsafe craze is sweeping the nationnMaybe I’ll watch who wants to be a millionaire, nonHow’s about I’ve got low credit, please get me out of herenSo I go for a stroll and some fresh airnNot think about shopping, but oh, a stocking, right, X-Mas is herennBright lights inviting me to buy nice bits I’ll hold dearnI mean for those I hold dear, that looks nice, oh dearnI don’t open final notice envelopes no more for fearnOf what they’ll say, but what the hey, I deserve some winter cheernWhen the barcode bleeps and I hear “Enter PIN Here”nMy head lights up with the foresight of a blinded deernWhen the barcode bleeps and I hear “Enter PIN HerenMy head lights up with the sight of a blinded deernnBankers been trading our debtsnAt ratings that were too inflatednAnd it’s shamelessn'Cause we knew I would never make those repaymentsnBut pointing the finger’s pointlessnnHomeowners or city bonusnWe were in the same sinking boat just gorging on oystersnNow the pearls turned gritty just sit back and enjoy itnWe’re losing jobs but now we’re watching our costsrenewables are taking offnnThere’s a left wing again nnAnd thanks to the crunch, we’ve even got a black presidentnnnI devastatenNobody’s getting offeasynDominatenI’m on your mind and on the TVnGimme the money and allnA pound of flesh and the checkbooknI dominatenLike a December-weather check-hook