There is a Barbie doll in the gravy boat up on mom's tv setAn angel made of Styrofoam holds Rita's cigaretteSanta waves an empty beer in his plastic handEveryone is here again, it's Christmas time againYou know the kids are in their sleepin' bags with every kind of toyAnd Ken and Kay have hit the hay in dadâs new La-Z-BoyFran has got a cozy spot beneath the Christmas treeSittin' in his underwear, drunk as he can beLast night, we stuffed our stockings and hung the mistletoeWhen Santa Claus came knocking, he looked like Uncle JoeSomeone put the coffee on and find the TylenolMerry Christmas everyone, happy holidays y'allOf course, old dad got mom a flannel robe and Ken, a socket setMom got Kay a super value pack of NicoretteAnd Kay got Ken a Nordic Track and a new guitar for meKen got sister Spanish speaking lessons on cdLast night, we all sang Jingle Bells and opened up our heartsThis morning, our house looks like hell or possibly Wal-MartSomeone clean the gravy boat and dress the Barbie dollMerry Christmas everyone, happy holidays y'allWe're makin' mimosas on the deck and packin' the you-HaulMerry Christmas everyone, God bless us one and all
Lyrics by Robert Earl Keen
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