So many memories I don't understandThey got me weak in the knees like I don't wanna standI try to snap back like a rubberbandBut flashbacks got another planTo bury this rap cat under landMy closest aunt fell victim to a mad manHe rapped her he stabbed her he through her in the trash canIn Tulsa Oklahoma da home of the GAP ban They buried Charlene boomie My biggest rap fanI cant express how much I miss the time I spent with youGod why they have to kill my mamas twin sisterNiqqa you lucky cops sent you to jail Cuz I was comin to send you to hellAfter my choppers wings split youI was jus a shorty when my cousin Bobby diedA star runnin back from Long Beaches probably highHis friend and his wife set off the drama rightHe caught them in bed which let to his homicide Right on his death bed prepared to die He wrote a song for his wifeThe title That's Not A Far GoodbyeCuz goddamn is not a fair goodbye Young or not Guns I woulda popped for youWhere was i? I cant forget my Aunt ZebSince you left I been missin youAnd I will til my last breathWhy do so many loved ones have to meet a fast deathThey wanted me to succeed how can I half step?Look up in the sky, tears in my eyesIts hard to say goodbye even gangstas cryIm in a dark room talkin to pictures Too many loved ones lost and I miss ya god knows that I miss yaAnd even though im strong, now that your goneIts hard to carry on even Gangstas cryLate at night I get lost in the Scriptures Wish I could dig off in your coffin and get ya I miss yaI put my pain on paperTheres nothing else I can do to remove itMy music is therapeutic if I don't use it I lose itIts so easy to pick up liquor and abuse itWhen life is confusing you on a way that you need to view shitI look at my gun and think of my buddies Leak and BloodyCuz this is the same demon that took my people from me A lot of my homies was killed over illegal moneyI lost so many to bangin dat it aint even funnyIts Cookie, its Ramon, its Charles, too many to nameIts solemn and shane, its pain in memories laneIt's a shame when obituaries stack thicker than dictionariesI question is my mind mentally saneMy uncle LeRoy is gone, god let em in, he was more of a father Figure than His brother ever beenLook at my brain its like the head of a veteran I fight more pain than Excedrin medicine ever didI cant sleep my nightmares are comin unannounced I dream about people I love cuz im runnin elfIs rap lyrics my therapy they don't wanna bounceIts trapped spirits im thinkin my minds a haunted houseSometimes I pray to my creator til my knees hurtI need work, my granny use to say I need churchThis is for my people beneath dirtWe makin songs gettin tattoos and rockinRest In peace t-shirtsLook up in the sky, tears in my eyesIts hard to say goodbye even gangstas cryIm in a dark room talkin to pictures Too many loved ones lost and I miss ya god knows that I miss yaAnd even though im strong, now that your goneIts hard to carry on even Gangstas cryLate at night I get lost in the Scriptures Wish I could dig off in your coffin and get ya I miss ya
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