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Everyone's a Little Bit Racist
Avenue Q

Say, Kate, can I ask you a question?

Sure

Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs?

Uh huh


Well, he's Trekkie Monster, and you're Kate Monster

Right

You're both Monsters

Yeah


Are you two related?

What? Princeton I'm surprised at you, I find that racist

Oh, well, I'm sorry, I was just asking


Well, it's a touchy subject

No, not all monsters are related

What are you trying say, huh?

That we all look the same to you?

Huh, huh, huh?


No, no, no, oh, not at all

I'm sorry, I guess that was a little racist

I should say so

You should be much more careful

When you're talking about the sensitive subject of race


Well, look who's talking

What do you mean?

What about that special Monster school you told me about?

What about it?


Could someone like me go there?

No, we don't want people like you

Ha ha ha ha ha, you see?


You're a little bit racist

Well, you're a little bit too

I guess we're both a little bit racist

Admitting it is not an easy thing to do

But I guess it's true

Between me and you


I think everyone's a little bit racist sometimes

Doesn't mean we go around committing hate crimes

Look around and you will find

No one's really color blind

Maybe it's a fact we all should face

Everyone makes judgments based on race


No, not big judgments, like who to hire

Or who to buy a newspaper from

No

No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican

Busboys should learn to speak goddamn English

Right


Everyone's a little bit racist today

So, everyone's a little bit racist, okay

Ethnic jokes might be uncouth

But you laugh because they're based on truth

Don't take them as personal attacks

Everyone enjoys them, so relax


All right, stop me if you've heard this one

Okay

Alright there's a plan going down

And there's only one parachute


And there's a Rabbi, a priest

And a black guy

Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate?

Uh

You were telling a black joke


Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes

I don't

Well, of course you don't, you're black

But I bet you tell polack jokes, right?


Well, sure I do, those stupid polacks, ha ha ha

Now, don't you think that's a little racist?

Well, damn, I guess you're right


You're a little bit racist

Well, you're a little bit too

We're all a little bit racist

I think that I would have to agree with you


We're glad you do

It's sad but true

Everyone's a little bit racist, all right

All right

All right

All right

Bigotry has never been

Exclusively white


If we all could just admit

That we are racist a little bit

Even though we all know that it's wrong

Maybe it would help us get along


Oh, Christ do I feel good?

Now there was a fine upstanding black man

Who?

Jesus Christ


But, Gary, Jesus was white

No, Jesus was black

No, Jesus was white

No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black


Guys, guys, Jesus was jewish

Hey guys, what are you laughing about?

Racism

Cool


Brian come back here

You take out lecycuraburs

What's that mean?

Um, recyclables


Hey, don't laugh at her

How many languages do you speak?

Oh, come off it, Brian

Everyone's a little bit racist


I'm not

Oh no?

Nope


How many oriental wives

Have you got?

What? Brian

Brian, buddy, where you been?

The term is Asian-American


I know you are no intending to be

But calling me oriental, offensive to me

I'm sorry, honey, I love you


And I love you

But you're racist, too

Yes, I know


The Jews have all the money

And the whites have all the power

And I'm always in taxi cab

With driver who no shower


Me too

Me too

I can't even get a taxi


Everyone's a little bit racist, it's true

But everyone is just about as racist as you

If we all could just admit that we are racist a little bit

And everyone stopped being so P.C.

Maybe we could live in harmony

Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist


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Lyrics by Avenue Q

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