I did cocaine with David BlaineHe made my blow disappear, mayneWe pulled the train off Ms. Love HewittShe knows what I did last summer, stupidOh please, Tara ReidTook her to eat and she was scared of the beefSo I had to fuck Jessica SimpsonIn the kitchen, while she was fixing some chickenAnd her little sister AshleyWas waiting in the pantry,Spreading the asscheeksYelling, Dirt Nasty! Tell my sisHurry up with the TeriyakiThen I did Demi in the pooperWith a semi, she thought I was Kutcher (man)Dude I heard a rumor. (What's that?)Alyssa Milano is good for a noonerAnd I ain't madAt Jennifer Aniston, took it in the ass at the Hotel RadisonHer Dad thought it was the Pitt's'Cause when he walked in,I was pinchin' her titsNow picture this,I got a photo, of Fred Durst's dickIt's about an inchFor real, I stole it from his bitchSome think that I'm phony homieI play with my penis like Adrien Brody.Fuck you sue meI'll be sniffin' ruffies with George ClooneyL.A. is like Groundhog DaySame old sh*t never fucking rainsDroppin' NamesWhat a shameNever thought I'd Turn out this wayI bursted the cuntDrew first blood on Kirsten Dunst.And what about the Olsens?At the Golden Globes,Holdin' my scrotumWhere the fuck Hillary Duff?I'm a make her smoke dust and choke nutsNo I'm not kiddin'I'll Moulin Douche Nicole KidmanHead spinnin' from the VodkaCourtney Cox sucked my cock in a Mazda.Near Jamba JuiceIn the parking lot, bombin' on Tom CruiseHis dick's like a needleMine's Titanic, ask LeoOr Vin DieselWe were shootin' Speed in his agent's RegelI'm harming my rectum (HMM)Pardon my French, Carmen ElectraAnd Haley Joel OsmentIs gonna be doin' coke before his balls be droppin.My nards aren't clean,I've been partying with Charlie Sheen.Hey Angelina JolieWhy don't you put them lips on my Roman CannoliLike Monica BellucciI heard the coochie, smells like Bleu Cheese.I'm horny for beaver.Gimme a call, Sigourney Weaver.L.A. is like Groundhog DaySame old shit never fucking rainsDroppin' NamesWhat a shameNever thought I'd Turn out this way
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