Sir, I do appreciate the offerI don't believe I caught your nameI don't get to get out very oftenIt's hard to find the time to get awayI think it's only fair you hear my storyBefore you spend $3.50 on that beerI've got two little kids that call me mamaMy 14 year-old thinks that I'm a witchBetween soccer practice and ballet, Britney Spears and Dr. DreRomance is the last thing on my listSo, Frank was it, tell me what you thinkDo you still wanna buy me that drinkSo, Frank, tell me how you feelAbout teenage girls being on the pillDo you mind Friday nights at home'Cause frankly, I've been here beforeMarried twice and twice divorcedAnd alimony sure don't pay the billsNow that's an awful lot of informationBut I don't have the time to mess around, 'causeI've got two little kids that call me mamaMy 14 year-old wants to pierce her lipBetween algebra and spelling bees and anything to keep the peaceRomance is the last thing on my listSo Frank, honey, tell me what you thinkDo you still wanna buy me that drinkI've got two little kids that call me mamaMy 14 year-old's really a good kidI really wouldn't blame you none if you got the urge to up and runIs being Daddy even on your listSo, Frank, darling, tell me what you thinkDo you still wanna buy me I'll take a Miller Lite, pleaseIf you still wanna buy me that drinkHey, Frank, you look a little pale….
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