Death
Denis Leary

I'm sick and tired of my generation getting blamed

For the state of the planet, I'm sick of my generation getting called

'The TV generation', Well all you guys do is watch TV

What did you expect? We watched lee harvey oswald get shot

Live on tv one Sunday morning, we were afraid to change

The fucking channel for the next thirty years

This show sucks, Yeah, but somebody might get shot

During the commercial, now hang on!

That's what's wrong with this country, we always shoot the wrong guys

We shoot J F K, we shoot R F K and it comes to teddy, we go

Ahh, leave him alone, he'll fuck it up himself, no problem, you know

Biggest target in the whole goddamn Kennedy family

Nobody takes a shot on me, he weighs about seven thousand pounds

You could shoot a bullet in Los Angeles and hit him in the ass in Boston

Five minutes later, he'd be standing on the lawn

At the Kennedy compound going, Ah There's a bullet in my ass, ah

Ted kennedy, good senator, but a bad date

You know what I'm saying, folks? One of those guys who gets home

At four o'clock in the morning and goes, What did I forget?

Oh! The fucking girl! What's the matter with me?

Jesus, where are my pants? Holy shit!

Because I'll tell you folks, we got a real problem with guns

In this country, we have people snapping

Almost twice, three, four, five times a year, right?

People just snap, they can't take it anymore, they just snap

They go into Mcdonalds and kill fifteen people

I mean what the fuck is going on down at the post office?

Every six months some guy gets fired, comes back

And kills all his co-workers

If I worked at the post office as a supervisor

I wouldn't lay anybody off for the next twenty-five fucking years

I'd just walk around going, Hanrahan, what're you doing? Nothing

Well, keep it up, you're doing a great job! Jesus, I'll tell ya

And I am sick and tired for New York city taking the blame

In this country for the crime problem, you know

Whenever you read a fact chart, it always says Detroit leads the world

In rape and murder and everything else, but New York takes the blame

New york's a cess pool, it's a cess pool of filth and crime

We're moving, Hey! I just moved here four years ago

And I'm not leaving, because this is the most exciting place

In the world to live

Oh yeah! Yeah! There are so many ways to die in New York city

Come on! Race riots, drive by shootings, subway crashes

Construction cranes collapsing on the sidewalks

Manhole covers blowing up, asbestos shooting into the sky

We had a subway crash here a couple of years ago

Five people died, the next day they found the driver was drunk

And hooked on crack, folks, this makes Disneyland

Look like a fucking bike ride, doesn't it?

Your drive today is Edward, he's drunk and hooked on crack

The man sitting next to you has a loaded nine-millimeter

Good luck, folks!, Honey, get the camera!

This is gonna be fucking great!

Yeah, I love living in New York, man and people who live in New York

We wear that fact like a badge right on our sleeve because we know

That fact impresses everybody! I was in vietnam

So what? I live in New York!, Really?

Yeah, 'cause New York teaches you to live life the way

It should be lived, moment to moment, yes

Because every moment in New York could be your last

Oh yeah, yeah

You could be walking down the street tomorrow

Feeling good about yourself, drink free, drug free

Looking forward to the future

And somebody accidently nudges their poodle off of a 75th floor ledge

Doink! And he's headed for the ground

At a hundred and seventy five thousand miles per hour

And curchunk he's impeded in your head! You're dead on contact

The headline in the post the next day reads, Man killed by best friend

People cut the article out and they laugh about it at the office

And you're forever remembered as the poodle man!

I knew the poodle man and he hated fucking poodles

New york teaches you to live life moment to moment

And street by street and beat to beat

Because we've all played that street ot street game in New York

Haven't we? Yes we have, good block, bad block, good block, bad block

Gun block, crack block, asbestos block, poodle block! Poodle block

'Cause most people think, Life sucks, and then you die

I disagree, I think life sucks, then you get cancer

Then you go into chemotherapy and you lose all your hair

You feel bad about yourself, then all of the sudden

The cancer goes into remission

You look good, you feel good, you're going great

And all of the sudden you have a stroke, you can't move your right side

And one day you step off the curb at 68th by Lincoln center and bang

You get hit by a bus and then, maybe, you die

Because I think Jim Hensen said it best when he said

Anybody got any aspirin? I think I got a cold

And a chill filled the room, we all have this incredible attachment

To the muppets, don't we? We love the muppets! They're so cute!

Did you hear about Jim Hensen's funeral? Here in New York city, huh?

Kermit the frog and big bird sang It's not easy being green

At Jim Hensen's funeral, if I'm fifty-six years old

When I kick the bucket and a fucking sock is singing at my funeral

I'm gonna pop out of the coffin and go

Hey! What the Hell is this about? Sammy Davis Jr. gets Frank Sinatra

And I get a fucking sock?

I'm really pissed off now!

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