Watch thisThese are my confessionsJust when I thought I said all I could say I came up up with more secrets to tell you todayThese are my confessionsSlip my mind the last two timesSilly me, so now I gotta give you part three of my confessionsFirst I told you about the skank that I was cheating with,then I mentioned she's having my kidThat's not all, now I recall more you see, so I'll give you part three of my confessionsNow this is gonna be the hardest thing I ever had to do,Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and twoLike remember when I told you I knew Paulie Shore (Paulie Shore)That's a lie, I don't know what I said that forI borrowed your chapstick (from you)I tried out your nose hair trimmer (too)And by the way your diamond ring is cubic circonium,I killed your goldfish accidently, just replaced it with another oneThese are my confessionsJust when I thought I said all I could say I needed to get some things off my chest right awayThese are my confessionsSlipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessionsI threw up on your dog last time I had too much to drinkThere have been times when I've peed in your sinkDon't know why, but you and I should agree that belongs in part three of my confessionsBaby forgive me I'm still trying to figure out why I used your toothbrush to clean off the bathroom groughtOh and sometimes in private, I really like to dress up as Shirley Temple and spank myself with a hockey stick (hockey stick)My boss thinks I'm a jerk, I didn't get that raise.I haven't changed my underwear in twenty-seven days!And when I'm kissing you I fantasize you as a midgetI'm so sorry Debbi! I mean Bridget!These are my confessionsJust when I thought I said all I could say I got a few more secrets I'd like to conveyThese are my confessionsSlipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessionsGave you buttered toast I dropped and then picked up off the floorFYI it was not a cold soreOoops my bad, but you'll be madder at me when I finish part three of my confessionsYou don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this, But remember that shirt that you got me for my birthday?Well, I returned it for store credit. That thing was hideous, what were you thinking?O and by the way, I wasn't really sick last week,I just didn't wanna go to your stupid office picnicOh and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of rice krispies,What I meant was that there was only enough left for me. Sorry.These are my confessionsJust when I thought I said all I could say, I thought of some more things that should scare you awayThese are my confessionsSlipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessionsOnce I blew my nose and wiped it on your catAnd I lied, yes that dress makes you look fatAnyway, I shouldn't say anymore 'til I give you part four of my confessions
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