Jon:
Can I interest you in Hannukah?
Maybe something in a Festival of Lights
It's a sensible alternative to Christmas
And it last for seven--
For you?--
Eight nights...
Stephen:
Hannukah, huh? I've never really thought about it...
Jon:
Well, you could do worse.
Stephen: Is it merry?
Jon: ...It's kind of merry.
Stephen: Is it cheery?
Jon: ...It's got some cheer.
Stephen: Is it jolly?
Jon: Look, I wouldn't know from jolly
But it's not my least unfavorite time of year
Stephen: When's it start?
Jon: On the 25th!
Stephen: Of December!?
Jon: ...Kislev.
Stephen: Which is when exactly?
Jon: ...I will check.
Stephen: Are there presents?
Jon: Yes indeed, eight days of presents.
Which means one nice one, then a week of dreck...
Stephen: Does Hannukah commemorate
Events profound and holy?
A King who came to save the world?
Jon: No.
Oil that burned quite slowly...
Stephen:
Well, it sounds fantastic!
Jon:
There's more!
We have latkes!
Stephen: What are they?
Jon: Potato pancakes.
We have dreidels!
Stephen: What are they?
Jon: Wooden tops.
We have candles!
Stephen: What are they?
Jon: THEY ARE CANDLES!
And, when we light them
Oh, the fun it never stops!
Jon:
Whaddaya say, Stephen, you wanna give Hannukah a try?
Stephen:
I'm trying to see me as a Jew...
I'm trying even harder...
But I believe in Jesus Christ
So it's a real non-starter...
Jon: I can't interest you...in Hannukah?
Just a little bit?
Stephen: No thanks, I'll pass
I'll keep Jesus, you keep your potato pancakes
But I hope that you enjoy 'em
On behalf of all the goyim
Jon:
Be sure to tell the Pontiff
My people say, Good Yontiff
Stephen:
That's exactly what I'll do
Stephen & Jon:
Happy holidays!...
Jon: You too!
Stephen (same time as Jon): You Jew!
Can I Interest You in Hannukah?
Stephen Colbert
Purchase "Can I Interest You in Hannukah?"
Purchase Entire Album
Email Video to Friends Play Youtube "Can I Interest You in Hannukah?" Video
Play Spotify "Can I Interest You in Hannukah?" Song
View Wikipedia "Can I Interest You in Hannukah?"
Entry
Receive Emails for Future Stephen Colbert Lyrics
Link to "Can I Interest You in Hannukah?"
Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
See Recommended Lyrics For You
Share:
Copied!
Loading...
Lyrics by Stephen Colbert
Related Songs
The Hannukah Oing - Adam Sandler
The Little Drum Machine Boy - Various Artists
Presents - Dan Bern
Hannuka In Santa Monica - Tom Lehrer
Waffle House Hannukah - Dan Bern
8 Days Of Hannukah - Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings
Micah no.5 - Apologetix
8 kisses - Colin Clary
8 kisses - Colin Clary
The Chanukah Song - Neil Diamond
Entrance - Ernest
Menorah - Dan Bern
Colossus - The Whole Fantastic World
You're My Love Interest - John Hiatt
Take That to the Bank [Original Version]...
Conflict Of Interest - K-Young
Person Of Interest - Rebecca Black
Interest - Will Brennan
Coast Is Clear - Skrillex
No Interest - Nina Nesbitt
The Mind - Chubb Rock
The Mind - LIL\' WAYNE
Ho Ho Ho - Alvin & The Chipmunks
Soul Be Free - Sick Of It All
Burn Bridges Keep Warm - Fairweather
Special Interest - Utopia
Hanukkah Blessings (Album Version)...
Questions - Tamia
Beyond Measure - Dynasty
Against All Interest - Criteria
Pay You Back With Interest - Hollies
Pay You Back With Interest - The Hollies
Do Not Attempt To Adjust Your TV Set...
The Clapping Hands - The Music Tapes
Cousinz (Toy Selectah Mex-More Remix)...
Who Fuck's Wit Me - Nelly
Wang Dang Pig - The Soft Boys
Wang Dang Pig [*] - The Soft Boys
You Don't Know Where Your Interest Lies...
Hanukkah Song Part One - Adam Sandler
Your_Name@random - Motormark
The Window Shopper - John Entwistle
Americareful - Atmosphere
Lili's Address - Utopia
Lili's Address - Utopia
Money - Lovin Spoonful
You Don't Know Where Your Interest Lies...
You Don't Know Where Your Interest Lies...
You Don't Know Where Your Interest Lies...
Contract [Live][#] - Gang of Four
Contract [Alternate Version][Alternate Take][#][*]...
Contract - Gang of Four
Major Label Interest - Bang Sugar Bang
Algo Mas - Rebe
Money - The Lovin' Spoonful
Halo - Deep Blue Something
Staring Man - Cowboy Junkies
Particles - The Lava Children
Mannequin - Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine
Mannequin - Chumbawamba
I want I want - The Letters Organize
Maintain Consciousness - Relient K
Conflict of Interest - Joe Perry
Conflict Of Interest - Joe Perry Project
Jesus Was a Dreidel Spinner - Jill Sobule
Jesus Was a Dreidel Spinner - Jill Sobule
Desire - Deas Vail
Cousins - Vampire Weekend
When I Touch Myself - Unwoman
Afraid Of Fear - Far From Heroes
Maccabees - Dan Bern
Humanity Defined - Darkane
Come On - Lafee
Sweet Little Thing - UFO
Sweet Little Thing (2007 Digital Remaster) [*]...
Sweet Little Thing - Michael Schenker
An Interest In Prosthetics - Graf Orlock
Love Interest - Self
Miracle Drug - A.C. Newman
Home In a Lighthouse - With the Punches
They Call it Lust, We Call it a Good Time...
No Interest - The Epoxies
Interest Position - Guided By Voices
Losing Interest - Nobody Knew
Human Interest - Hooverphonic
common interest - Point Of Few
0% Interest - Jason Mraz
Newfound Interest - DD/MM/YYYY
Human Interest - Drive Like Jehu
Sunday Forecast - Fairweather Friend
Music For Chameleons - Gary Numan
Nothing Without Me - Curve
Broken - 3rd Root
Take It Upon Yourself - Sloan
Lazarus (In The Wilderness) - Funeral for a Friend
Forget About Me - The Bellamy Brothers
Forget About Me - Bellamy Brothers
Diet Coke - J Church
The Arctic Circle...
The Computers Stopped Exchanging Information and S...
I'm So Fucking Disgusted - Sabertooth Zombie
Forced Love - Sebadoh
Mr. Girl Hater - Daddy Long Legs Cast
Rather - Young Scrilla
Several Ways To Die Trying...
When I Come Home - William Fitzsimmons
Day Trader - Cave-In
Day Trader - Cave In
I'll See You When We're Both Not So Emotional...
Emotional Man - Xandria
Loanshark Blues - Rory Gallagher
Rebecca Black LOL is the new single by Internet se...
Kid, It's a Long Way Back to the Port Cities...
All Friends Something - Dirty On Purpose
The New Rules - Irma Thomas
Tell Me - Sam Phillips
Only Words - The Verve Pipe
Only Words - Verve Pipe
To the Readers - Yesterdays Rising
January Is Done - Arkade
The Old Believer - Throw Me The Statue
Tears For Affairs - Camera Obscura
Boy Trouble - The Rev-Lons
Wicker Park - Into It. Over It.
It Ain't No Big Thing (but It's Growing)...
In The Quiet - Vedera
Tomorrow's Name - Rain
Cuscutlan - Frente
Surefire - Econoline Crush
Real Heroes - Bertoldi Brothers
Benediction - Suicidal Tendencies
Cuscutlan - Frente!
Cuscatlan - Frente!
Waiting - Gabe Bondoc
Get That Gun Off My Chest - Burning Heads
It Ain't No Big Thing (but It's Growing)...
Countin' On You - Kevin Gates
Automatic Teller - New Bomb Turks
Biding My Time - Busby Marou
Restless - New Order
The Fight Song (Crash & Burn) - Mae
The Fight Song - Mae
Work Lies Sex Love Fear Hate Friendship...
You Do, You Don't - The Friday Night Boys
Stranger Than Fiction [DVD] - Bad Religion
Invisible Girl - T-Pain
After School Special - Wakefield
A Different Ship - Meligrove Band
Misunderstood - Elysian Fields
New Love - Voxtrot
It Ain't No Big Thing (But It's Growing)...
Four Words - Brittle Stars
Everything I Touch (Just Falls Apart)...
For the Actor - Mates of State
Who Needs Money - Elvis Presley
Who Needs Money? - Elvis Presley
Who Needs Money - Presley Elvis
Thorns In My Flesh - Arch Enemy
The Thief - Lucy Kaplansky
Footsi-Footsi - Wire
Quartet (Broadway) - Chess
Cushion Glamour - Maths Class
Natural's Not In It - Gang Of Four
Twelve Days Of Christmas - Big Time Rush
Andy Apathy Demo - This Is Me Smiling
Wildest Dreams - New Edition
mirror in the bathroom - English Beat
Last Goodbye - Best Interest
Read My Lips - Best Interest
Camera Shy But Still A Star - Best Interest
Magic Sticks In December - Best Interest
Far - Best Interest
Empty Bottle Translations - Best Interest
Predict This Flick - Best Interest
Portrait Perfect - Best Interest
Piece of My Heart - Best Interest
First Impression - Best Interest
Lost - Best Interest
Prom Girl - Best Interest
Bondage Beach - Adhesive
Eddie Waring - Chumbawamba
RENOVATION - Helmet
Mirrow in the Bathroom - The English Beat
Mirror in the Bathroom [From Grosse Pointe Blank]...
Mirror in the Bathroom - The English Beat
Mirror In The Bathroom - The Specials
Fortunes - The Lilac Time
Wildest Dream - New Edition
Lumberjack Rap [Instrumental] - Yes I Can
Plummet of the Americas - Closet Monster
Outside of a Small Circle of Friends - Phil Ochs
It Aint No Big Thing (but it's growing)...
It Aint No Big Thing (but It's Growing)...
A Newfound Interest In Massachusetts...
Nunua Mango - Tambariza
Blind Leadin' The Blind - Acid Drinkers
Blind Leadin' the Blind - Acid Drinkers
You Do, You Don't - The Friday Night Boys
83. Eddie Waring - Chumbawamba
