Showed up drunk one Christmas EvenMade mom so mad she had to leavenDad grabbed me by the collar, saidnWhat the hell are you thinkinnAnother fine moment in my lifenBrought to you by drinkinnnI stole a little boat from our neighbors yardnA little late night fishinnThought, this won't be hardnOut on the middle of the rivernAnd the damn thing started sinkinnAnother fine moment in my lifenBrought to you by drinkinnnI guess it hasn't been all badnI think about the good times that I've hadnAnd as a matter of factnI think I've learned a thing or twonLike fruit and beer don't mixnPurple shots were made for chicksnAnd make the double shorts (?)nThe cheaper you start winkin (?)nMy life is just one fine moment after the othernAll brought to you by drinkinnnI had a few too many at my buddy's barnLike I told, you know whatnI hopped right in the carnAnd then my license was gonenWhen I saw the red and blue blinkinnJust another fine moment in my lifenBrought to you by drinkinnnI guess it hasn't been all badnI think about the good times that I've hadnAnd as a matter of factnI think I've learned a thing or twonLike you can do the left of the whitenAnd the right of the yellownWhen the cop walks up beneath the light you say hellonMean it when you swear it'll never happen againnMy life is just one fine moment after the othernAll brought to you by drinkinnnAnd if not for those 15 beersnI might have been paralyzed with fearnInstead of saying hey cutienHow do you like my singinnI never dreamt I was hittin on my future of wifenThat might've been the finest moment of my lifenAnd it was brought to you by drinkinnThis life, is brought to you by drinkinnnPreceding message was proudly brought to you by...nDrinkin