It always happens in coffee shops nAnd I'm always hungover when someone wants to talk nAnd don't get me wrong, I like talking nWhen it's a healthy back-and-forth exchange nBut some people always wanna lecture me nAnd try to make me change nHe says 'You are a mystery, aren't you' nAnd considering he hasn't shut up long enough for me to string two words together nYes that's me, Miss Mystery nAnd he's quiet for a time nAnd I think that might be a good sign nTil there's a glint in his eye and I realize nHe's just making more sentences in his mind nAnd here it comes, and there's nothing I can do nI take a sip, I take a breath nHe licks his lips and he's opening his mouth, and it's:nnBlah blah blah blah blah blah blah nBlah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah nBlah blah blah blah blah blah blah nBlah blah dog diggity blahnnLike a steam train nLike an onslaught nLike a machine gun loaded with your opinions nBut it's incoherent ammunition nAnd your words aren't very wounding weapons nWhen they're inflicted on me nAnd I know you mean well nWith your deep wells of advice nAnd your buckets of swelled self-righteousness nHell, you're just trying to be nice nAnd you're nice, but you state your views like they are facts of life nAnd I hate that, and I tell you nAnd I brace myself for the reply, it's gonna bennBlah blah blah blah blah blah blah nBlah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah nBlah blah blah blah blah blah blah nBlah blah dog diggity blahnnHe says, You never were much of a talkernWell this isn't talking nThis is being cornered nI'm being cornered by you nAnd I can't get away nFrom this table for two nIn the corner of this bright corner cafenAnd didn't we have this same conversation last week? nIt's not that I don't like you - I just wish you wouldn't speak:nnBlah blah blah blah blah blah blah nBlah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah nBlah blah blah blah blah blah blah nBlah blah dog diggity blahnnI see he's made a list nOf pressing topics of discussion nCompeting with the clanking coffee cup percussion nAnd I guess we'll start with number one nOn the first A4 page nPast the setting of the sun nAnd the pouring of the lattes nAnd here it comes, it's coming and there's nothing anyone can do nI take a sip nI grip the chair nHe opens his big, wet slippery mouthnnBlah blah blah blah blah blah blah nBlah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah nBlah blah blah blah blah blah blah nBlah blah dog diggity blah
Lyrics by Kate Miller-Heidke
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