Billy, Boney and Ma
Townes Van Zandt

Well, Billy went down to the battleground
To find a little trinket he could call his own
Didn't see nothin' lying around
He decided he'd dig awhile
Well he dug her up and he dug her down
'Fore too long he found some bones
Poor little Billy couldn't make a sound
When the bones sat up and smiled

Oh Billy you seem like a fine young man
No reason to be a tremblin' soul
Come over here and shake my hand
Make my proud acquaintance
Well Billy he was stunned he could hardly stand
Whether he could move he didn't know
But he knew he had to formulate some kinda plan
Or try the boneman's patience

The first thing he wanted to do was breathe
So he gulped in some of that battleground air
Next thing he wanted to do was leave
But Billy wasn't raised up rude
Well the boneman grunted and he gave a heave
All of a sudden he was loomin' there
Shakin' off dirt and actin' pleased
Things didn't look too good

Well Billy decided what the hell
You don't meet a boneman every day
A little bit skinny but you never can tell
He might be a pretty good guy
Well they started off with the old soft sell
'Fore too long they were jawin' away
By the time the darkness fell
They were seein' socket to eye

They decided right then on a life of crime
With the boneman's looks and Billy's brains
They could scare old Scrooge out of his last dime
Might as well have a go
Billy he would picked the place and time
From the corner store to the railroad train
Boney'd flash him a smile sublime
And Billy he'd grab the dough

They decided they might as well start right then
Time's awastin' so they say
They headed for the park
Where the lights are dim
And only the foolish tread
He was whistlin' a tune
When they spotted him strollin' along
So plump and gay
Boney gave him a great big grin
And Billy snagged his bread

Next come a lady of the night
Boney saddled up and said hello
Gave the poor thing such a terrible fright
She fainted dead away
Billy lifted her purse and her earrings bright
Diamond rings and watch you know
Couldn't figure out try as they might
Why they'd ever worked a single day

Billy's plans ended up in ruin you know
They were workin' a quaint little neighborhood
Spied an old lady about eighty or so
Almost looked too easy
Boney put on a pretty good show
The little ol' lady didn't see too good
My kind Sir your all bones you know
You need something hot and greasy

Grabbed ol' Boney drug him inside
Billy peeked in through the window sill
She fed him boiled and baked and fried
Ol' Boney he's chewin like crazy
He gobbled up everything he tried
Pounds added on like you know they will
Billy laid down in the dirt and cried
Watchin Boney Gettin fat and lazy

Well Billy's back workin his job by day
Sleep'n nights it ain't so bad
Never liked stealin anyway
Kinda gives a guy the willies
Boney and Ma got a new cafe
Best baked beans you ever had
Ma's expecting any day
And they say they're gonna name him Billy


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Lyrics by Townes Van Zandt

  Still Looking for You   (Quicksilver daydreams of) Maria   A Song For   Ain't Leavin' Your Love   All Your Young Servants   Announcement   At My Window   At My Window [*]   At My Window f\/ Kathy Mattea   Automobile Blues   Be Here To Love Me   Big Country Blues   Billy, Boney & Ma   Black Crow Blues   Blaze's Blues   Blue Ridge Mountains   Blue Wind Blew   Brand New Companion   Brand New Companion [*]   Brother Flower   Brother Flower f\/ Kimmie Rhodes   Buckskin Stallion Blues   Buckskin Stallion Blues [*]   BW Railroad Blues   Catfish Song   Cocaine Blues   Colorado Bound   Colorado Girl   Colorado Girl [Alternate Take][#]   Columbine   Come Tomorrow   Cowboy Junkies Lament   Dead Flowers   Dead flowers (Jagger\/Richards)   Delta Mama Blues   Delta Moma Blues   Diamond Heel Blues   Dollar Bill Blues   Don't Let The Sunshine Fool Ya'   Don't You Take It Too Bad   Dublin Blues   Fare Thee Well, Miss Carousel   FFV   Ffv (Trad.)   Flyin' Shoes   Flying Shoes   Flying Shoes [*]   For The Sake Of The Song   For the Sake of the Song [#]   For the Sake of the Song [Original Version]   Fraternity Blues   Fraulein   Fraulein (L. Williams)   Goin' Down To Memphis   Gone Too Long   Gone, Gone Blues   Greensboro Woman   Gypsy Friday   Heavenly Houseboat Blues   Hey Willie Boy   Hey Willy Boy   High, Low & in Between   High, Low + In Between   High, Low and In Between   Highway Kind   Honky Tonkin'   Honky tonkin' (Hank Williams)   I'll Be Here In The Morning   If I Needed You   If I Needed You [#]   If I Needed You f\/ Emmylou Harris   If I Was Washington   Kathleen   Katie Belle   Katie Belle Blue   Like a Summer Thursday   Little Sundance #2   Loretta   Lover's Lullaby   Lungs   Lungs [*]   Many A Fine A Lady   Many a Fine Lady   Maria   Marie   Marie [*]   Marie [#]   Marie f\/ Willie Nelson   Mr Gold & Mr Mud   Mr Gold And Mr Mud   Mr. Gold and Mr. Mud   Mr. Mudd & Mr. Gold   Mr. Mudd and Mr. Gold   My Proud Mountains   Niles River Blues   Nine Pound Hammer   No Deal   No Lonesome Tune   No Place to Fall   None But The Rain   Nothin'   Old Paint   Only Him or Me   Our Mother the Mountain   Our Mother the Mountain [*]   Pancho & Lefty   Pancho & Lefty (Alternate 1972 Mix Without Strings...   Pancho & Lefty [#]   Pancho & Lefty   Pancho and Lefty   Pancho and Lefty [*]   Poncho & Lefty   Pueblo Waltz   Quicksilver Daydreams of Maria [Original Version]   Rake   Rex's Blues   Sad Cinderella   Sanitarium Blues   Second Lovers Song   She Came And She Touched Me   Shrimp Song   Silver Ships Of Andilar   Sixteen Summers, Fifteen Falls   Snake Mountain Blues   Snake Song   Snow Don't Fall   Snowin On Raton   Snowing on Raton   Squash   St John The Gambler   St. John The Gambler   Standin'   Still Looking For You   Sunshine Boy   Talkin' Karate Blues   Talking Thunderbird Blues   Tecumseh Valley   Tecumseh Valley [Original Version]   The Catfish Song   The Hole   The Hole [*]   The Silver Ships Of Andilar   The Spider Song   The Velvet Voices   To Live is To Fly   Tower Song   Turnstyled, Junkpiled   Two Girls   Two Girls [*]   Two Hands   Upon My Soul   Upon My Soul [*]   Velvet Voices   Waitin' Around to Die   Waiting 'Round to Die   Waiting Around to Die   When He Offers His Hand   When He Offers His Hand   When She Don't Need Me   When Your Dream Lovers Die   Where I Lead Me   White Freight Liner Blues   White Freightliner Blues   Who Do You Love   Why She's Acting This Way   You Are Not Needed Now

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