nWhy can't I sleep? I was fascinated by the silence.nIt is empty to talk to myself in a damp room again.nWhy can't I sleep? Because I saw you.nYou look down at the wet floor. Leaning the head while sleeping.nnI just didn't have any feelings for the uninteresting reality.nI adoringly looked at you without saying a word and even forgetting to blink.nnI want to fall asleep, just feeling the fear of awaking.nI want to forget everything. It is selfish nonsense.nI call your name. I go mad with the silence.nI shouted while holding your thin shoulder, it was too frail with warmth.nnI was fascinated by the uninteresting reality.nI fount out that it even was meaningless that I had been borne not to cry.nnThe voice at my back kept on.nThe reason was not important.nOnly you look so sad in front of me.nI hate myself so much because I couldn't do anything for you.nnI tell to you, who gave me my name. Can you be beside me as it is.nYeh, for me you are the first and last mother.nnI softly lined you with deep red color on the white wall.nI came close, the still warm cheek. I just smiled calmly.nA big teardrop was filled with you. And I felt we could become one.nThe time when the eyelids close and the warmth is gone, I am beside you.