Here is the tale of a babysitting jobThe baby is something of a snob(Oh, go screw yourselves)So listen very closely, and you'll findThat what they say is not the same as what's on their mindsAren't you a cute little boy?(Look at that melon shaped head)Having you here is a joy(And in an hour you'll be dead)Sit on my knee(Please don't go Poo)Nice place to be(This one's for you)Babysitting is a bum dealWhy don't we watch Will and Grace?(Jesus, do I need a smoke?)Jack puts a smile on my face(Oh, what a surprise, a gay joke)I like your house(The ceiling has cracks)I like your blouse(Miss TJ Maxx)Babysitting is a bum dealSo they sat as time went bySlowly as time could goThe baby blurred, and softly cursed'Cause her lips, and her skirt, and her shoesAnd her hair made her look like a hoeTime for your bottle my sweet(This little brat smells like piss)Always a succulent treat(While I suck that, you suck this)Aren't you a sight(Look at him drool)You're a delight(Damn you, you fool)Babysitting is a bum dealThe diaper change was quite a jobThe grossest I've ever seenThe baby smiled and took a breathAnd I grunted and pooped out a poopThat looked something like Matthew ModineSomeday you might meet a girl(Yeah, she's gonna be your right hand)Maybe it's you my sweet pearl(Darling, I'd rather screw sand)Have a good night(You little creep)Have a good night(Die in your sleep)Babysitting is a bum dealBabysitting is a bum deal
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