sick of being sick and sucking the disease.na longing for longer than just temporary, because it'sncontaminating.nand I want to tell the truth...I'm not doing so well. how do Insave myself?nit feels like I'm lost in the climate of lonely apartment life.nnthis way, i can't be who you want to be.nand this way, i can't be who i really am. nbut i am trying.nn(deal with what you have and what you'll have left, becausenthere is no such thing as a fresh start).nni am no good at being around. i am no good at being alive.nbut I am trying.