One, two, buckle my shoe...nAh you know I've never really been that good with friendsnI'll only let you in when I can see the endnI don't call back I'm never latenI talk like I'm fillin' holes or cakenIt ain't that I don't like you you're just better off alonennYou just don't wanna get too close to this guynHe'll pick at you like the raisins in a pienIf you got regular size feetnAnd your aftershave smells sweetnKeep your distance boy, it's curlin' up my toesnnLike an arthouse movie or 50 dollar winenI just miss the point every single timenBut you just don't do it for me friendnAnd I just don't think I like the way this is gonna endnnDid you notice how my eyes looked all aroundnWhen the talk turns back to you and how you foundnThat everything that you hold dearnYour prostate gland and your careernI'm listenin' just don't mess in my good earnnLike pawn shop furniture or arrowroot biscuitsnI'm cheap and I'm everywhere and I'm good for five minutesnBut you just don't do it for me friendnAnd I just don't think I like the way this is gonna endnAh you just don't do it for me friendnnI was there back row an empty shownYou've dumped your band and you went an' gone solonYou sung so great but some notes hurtnYou wiped the floor and you left no dirtnThey loved you baby from the high C's to the pleats right in your skirt.nnI met your pals and we made some tentative plansnFor singing and drinking and buying new corduroy pantsnYou're the kick in the pants I just didn't expectnYou're the playful strangle around the necknYou sure can't do it for me madamenYou sure can't do it for me madamennAh you know I've never really been that good with friendsnBut you sure can't do it for me madamenAh you sure can't do it for me madamenGoddamn!