I was takin' a trip out to LA,nToolin' along in my ChevroletnTokin' on a number and diggin' on the radionnJes' as I cross the Mississippi linenI heard that highway start to whinenAnd I knew that left rear tire was about to gonnWell the spare was flat and I got uptightn'Cause there wasn't a fillin' station in sightnSo I jes' limped down the shoulder on the rimnnI went as far as I could and when I stopped the carnIt was right in front of this little barnA kind of a redneck lookin' joint called the Dew Drop InnnnWell I stuffed my hair up under my hatnAnd told the bartender that I had a flatnAnd would he be kind enough to give me change for a onennThere was one thing I was sure proud to seenThere wasn't a soul in the place 'cept for him an' menAnd he just looked disgusted an' pointed toward the telephonennI called up the station down the road a waysnAnd he said he wasn't very busy t'daynAnd he could have somebody there in jest 'bout ten minutes or sonnHe said now you jes' stay right where yer at and I didn't bothernTellin' the durn fool nI sure as hell didn't have anyplace else to gonnI jes ordered up a beer and sat down at the barnWhen some guy walked in an' said who owns this carnWith the peace sign the mag wheels and four on the floornnWell he looked at me and I damn near diednAnd I decided that I'd jus wait outsidenSo I layed a dollar on the bar and headed for the doornnJes' when I thought I'd get outta there with my skinnThese five big dude come strollin' innWith this one old drunk chick and some fella with green teethnnAn' I was almost to the door when the biggest onenSaid you tip your hat to this lady sonnAn' when I did all that hair fell out from underneathnnNow the last thing I wanted was to get into a fightnIn Jackson Mississippi on a Saturday nightn'Specially when there was three of them and only one of mennWell they all started laughin' and I felt kinda sicknAnd I knew I'd better think of somethin' pretty quicknSo I jes' reached out an' kicked ol' green-teeth right in the kneennHe let out a yell that'd curl your hairnBut before he could move I grabbed me a chairnAnd said watch him folks 'cause he's a thouroughly dangerous mannnWell you may not know it but this man's a spynHe's an undercover agent for the FBInAnd he's been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux KlannnHe was still bent over holdin' on to his kneenBut everyone else was lookin' and listenin' to menAnd I layed it on thicker and heavier as I wentnnI said would you beleive this man has gone as farnAs tearin' Wallace stickers off the bumpers of carsnAnd he voted for George McGoveren for presidentnnWell he's a friend of them long-haired hippie type pinko fagsnI betcha he's even got a Commie flagnTacked up on the wall inside of his garagennHe's a snake in the grass I tell ya guysnHe may look dumb but that's jus a disguisenHe's a mastermind in the ways of espionagennThey all started lookin' real suspicious at himnAnd he jumped up an' said jes' wait a minute JimnYou know he's lyin' I've been livin' here all of my lifennI'm a faithfull follower of Brother John BurchnAnd I belong to the Antioch Baptist ChurchnAnd I ain't even got a garage you can call home and ask my wifennThen he started sayin' somethin' 'bout the way I was dressednBut I didn't wait around to hear the restnI was too busy movin' and hopin' I didn't run outta lucknnAnd when I hit the ground I was makin' tracksnAnd they were jes' takin' my car down off the jacksnSo I threw the man a twenty an' jumped in an' fired that mother upnnMario Andretti woulda sure been proudnOf the way I was movin' when I passed that crowdnComin' out the door and headin' toward me in a trotnnAn' I guess I shoulda gone ahead an' runnBut somehow I couldn't resist the funnOf chasin' them jes' once around the parkin' lotnnWell they're headin' for their car but I hit the gasnAnd spun around and headed them off at the passnWell I was slingin' gravel and puttin' a ton of dust in the airnnWell I had them all out there steppin' an' a fetchin'nLike their heads were on fire and their asses was catchin'nBut I figured I oughta go ahead an split before the cops got therennWhen I hit the road I was really wheelin'nHad gravel flyin' and rubber squeelin'nAn' I didn't slow down 'til I was almost to ArkansasnnI think I'm gonna re-route my tripnI wonder if anybody'd think I'd flippednIf I went to LA via Omaha!n